Arrivals In Effect
by Mr.Crowbar
Summary: We all have read the excellent stories of Self Inserts, Dimension Travelers and Time Travelers doing relatively good in the Mass Effect universe. But what if, in the constant migration of people into the Mass Effect universe, were some more unfortunate ones. The ones, who weren't able to be as much as others, or were simply unlucky.
1. Chapter 1

**Comeback of the Armature**

* * *

Above a planet named Therum, a ship suddenly appeared. After dropping out of FTL, it's heat signature quickly dissapeared, allowing it to hide from it's enemies.

* * *

„We're here - Therum", a person in the ship's cockpit said as ominously as he could.

„Joker, scan the surface", a female voice said.

„Already on it, Commander", Joker, the ship's pilot, replied.

„So, Bob... Time put your knowledge to use. What can we expect down on Therum?", the female voice asked.

Bob shrugged nonchalantly. „Oh, nothing special, just a couple of geth... Some lava... Nothing that could possibly take _you_ on, Shepard".

„Yeah, why don't you go lick her boots while you're at it...", Joker muttered under his breath.

While Shepard had seen many things, and survived countless battles, even she was quite creeped out by the way Bob seemed to worship her.

„Kid, we want to know more _details_. We already know that there will probably be something that wants to kill us down there," another man said with slight exasperation.

„But where's the fun in _that_, Kaidan?" Seeing the looks on others' faces, Bob quickly straightened his back and put on a more serious look. „There are about... Oh, I don't know... maybe 50 geth or so? Oh, and a couple of armatures, and maybe a colossus or two."

„Scan's complete. There's some sort of a structure down there, with a pretty strong energy signature. Might wanna check that out, commander," Joker said.

Bob pointed a finger at Joker. „Yep, that's where we need to go!"

Joker gave Bob's finger a mock-wary look. „Hey, look where you point that damn thing!"

„Oh come on, your bones aren't THAT fragile."

„How would YOU know?"

Shepard decided to step in. „Kids, let's focus on that weird thingamajib Joker found down there." The two quieted down. Shepard thinks a little bit, and then, with a child-like smile, says: „Let's take the MAKO."

Kaidan's face expressed pure fear. „Commander, the LAST time you had that smile, I had to coax out severed _limbs_ from under the MAKO!"

Shepard only winked. „Well, that's half the fun, isn't it?"

* * *

„Is it smart to take the pyjack down with you? He looks like he hasn't even _seen_ a gun before."

Shepard pulled Wrex and Ashley away from the MAKO, where Bob resided, and said, „Look, I know this probably isn't my brightest idea, but if he really came from where he says and really knows everything that we're going to face, he's going to be invaluable."

Ashley, dead set on arguing Shepard down from her idea, replied, „Wouldn't he be better use up here, talking to us through the radio, instead of compromising the integrity of the team down there and getting all of us killed with him?"

Wrex, supporting Ashley, said, „Williams is right. That little kid isn't of any use down there. He'll die down there, and drag us to death alongside him."

„I'm 23, you pathetic excuse of a dinosaur! I can handle myself!" Bob yelled from the MAKO.

Wrex only smiled in amusement at his comment.

Shepard gave an exasperated sigh. „Guys... I gave him basic combat training myself, or as much of it as I could. He seems dead set on helping us, let's let him. Besides, we don't really have any room for him, if he can't carry his own weight. Tali already said he's absolutely useless at anything technical."

„He also kept ogling at me," Tali said grumpily while walking past them into the elevator.

Ashley raised her eyebrow, knowing her point was proven. Though that wasn't going to stop Shepard.

* * *

By the time the MAKO had landed on the planet, Shepard and Wrex were grinning from ear-to-ear, Ashley was done yelling, and Bob was still trembling from exhiliration. „That was freaking AWESOME! The Mass Effect universe RULES!"

„I told you it would be fun!" Shepard yelled from the front of the vehicle.

_„Commander, sorry to cut the party short, but that energy signature we picked up earlier? Well, now I'm also getting some really weird readings from the same location. Like, off the damn charts,"_ Joker's voice said from the radio.

„All right, then. Let's get a move on."

After contact with the first of the geth, the MAKO had been bludgeoning it's way through the machines, with Shepard doing quick hit-and-runs, and Wrex enthusiastically blowing them away with the cannon.

„Commander, the radar suggest a compound up ahead. The MAKO wont be able to get through. I think there are gates, though," Ashley said after prolonged silence due to the team concentrating on their tasks.

„Is there a way to get the MAKO inside first?" Shepard asked, slightly concerned.

„Yeah, should be a way through the canyons. Sensors picking up some activity though."

Shepard, having made her decision, quickly forced the MAKO into the path in the canyons, and ran over the geth in there with apparent carelesness, while Wrex dispatched the turrets.

The MAKO stopped in the middle of the compound, and the team got out.

„Wrex, Bob. Look for the gate controls in the building, me and Ashley will keep watch."

„Come on pyjack, let's go. Don't get yourself killed," Wrex said with a low, unhappy rumble.

„Don't worry, I'm tougher than some random geth trooper," Bob tried to reassure Wrex with a beaming smile.

„We'll see about that," Wrex replied, snorting in amusement.

Wrex took out his shotgun, while Bob, with pistol in one hand, prepared the Overload program simply given to him by Tali after failing to teach him to make his own programs.

Wrex took cover at the door, and Bob gave him a funny look.

„You're not coming to kill some geth?" he asked.

„Shepard wants to see what you're made of, and you want to show her. What better opportunity? Don't worry, if you actually find something in there, simply scream, and I'll come save you," Wrex answered with a non-caring tone.

„Didn't take you for a coward, lizard..." Bob muttered grumpily.

Bob stepped in the dark building warily in a half-crouch, ready to drop the moment something comes out at him. He heard a familiar mechanic warbling, and just before a geth trooper walked around the corner, he rolled behind a crate, hitting his head against it. The geth of course saw the movement, and immediately opened fire on the crate, suppressing him, while another appeared and slowly moved towards Bob.

The moment the fire stopped, Bob rose up and launched the Overload at the closer geth, scrambling it's sensors momentarily. While the other geth took cover behind a crate to vent it's weapon, Bob started shooting, even though he mostly saw stars from the earlier impact with the crate, but at last managed to shoot the geth straight in it's head. Bob did an enthusiastic fist-bump, and the other geth rose up, only to have it's chest explode.

Wrex chuckled at the sight of the pyjack falling to the ground in surprise.

„What made you suddenly come in here? I had them by the balls!" Bob told him angrily.

„You were taking too long," Wrex shrugged.

Bob sighed in response. „Alright, let's find the damn controls..." His voice trailed off slowly.

Now it was Wrex's time to sigh. „Dammit, pyjack, was that control panel the one we were looking for?"

„...Maybe?"

There was a sizeable hole in the middle of said control panel, with smoke and occasional sparks coming out of it.

„Shepard is going to kill me, isn't she?"

„Yup."

They went out together to relay the bad news.

* * *

„What the do you mean, you destroyed the control panel?" Shepard asked in a dangerously quiet voice.

Bob visibly shrinked under her gaze. „I'm... I'm sorry... There were geth in there, and I tried to shoot at them. The controls were simply behind them! If Wrex had come in with me, it probably would have been fine!" Bob points a finger dramatically at Wrex.

„Hey, don't blame your failure on _me_, pyjack."

„_You_ were the one who decided to sit on his lazy ass outside, while I alone kill all the geth inside!"

„I didn't think you'd be such a bad shot."

Shepard tuned out their bantering and asked Ashley in a low, rather angry voice: „See anything we could use to blast the gate open?"

„We could use the MAKO's cannon, but the noise would probably bring an army down on us, before we get through it..." Ashley said.

Apparently having ended their argument, Bob decided it would be the best time to add his own opinion, and raised a finger meaningfully. „I know how to get through it."

Shepard raised her eyebrow. „How?"

„First, we lug all the explosive stuff we can find in this compound at the gate, then Wrex launches a warp to weaken it, right before we use the MAKO's main cannon to blow the whole thing sky-high."

Shepard narrowed her eyes at Bob thoughtfully. „That _could_ work... Alright. Everyone, spread out, find anything that might explode."

* * *

About 10 minutes later, all the explosive material in the compound was carried to the gate by a grumbling krogan complaining about being used as a pack mule.

„Alright Wrex, do it."

The krogan then launched a warp at the gate, and everyone got inside the MAKO quickly.

„Wrex. The honor is yours," Shepard said.

* * *

By the time the geth dropship came to the compound to investigate the loud noise, Shepard had already taken the MAKO through the hole in the gate to satisfy it's never-ending hunger for crushed body parts.

* * *

Shepard swore loudly when she saw the narrow road through the rocky canyon.

„Alright, dimension traveler, any insight on how to get the MAKO through this mess?" Shepard asked Bob.

„Sorry, Shepard... There's no way to get the MAKO through here... Millions of people have already tried it on game physics, so it sure as hell wont work with the real MAKO."

Shepard's grimace only deepened. „Goddammit. Alright, people. Everyone out of the MAKO, we're going on foot."

Wrex tried to cheer Shepard up by saying, „Shepard, there's nothing like a little action on foot to cheer a warrior up."

They got out of the MAKO, and started making their way through the canyon, slowly, but steadily.

* * *

The team only got so far, before encountering a patrol of geth.

Right when both sides spotted each other, Shepard yelled „TAKE COVER!" right before the mass accelerated rounds and missiles started flying.

The geth were slowly advancing on Shepard's team due to a sniper keeping them constantly pinned down.

It was Wrex who first noticed something missing.

„Hey, Shepard, where'd the pyjack go?!"

Ashley started swearing profusely. „Goddammit, that little shit! Right when we get in a tough situation, he _hides!_"

Shepard's N7 training had kicked in, and she only yelled, „Focus on the enemy, team!" while lobbing a grenade in the geth's direction.

The grenade destroyed a few geth troopers, and took out the shields of most others. Wrex gratefully lifted up a rocket trooper, and Ashley finished it off with her assault rifle.

None of them noticed that the geth sniper had stopped firing for a moment. But they noticed it when the sniper apparently started dropping it's fellow geth. The team, though extremely cautious, finished the geth off quickly with the help of their new ally, and slowly moved down the slope in hopes of finding out what the hell just happened.

Ashley's surprise was the biggest of them all when they saw that no other than Bob slide down the hill from the sniper's nest.

After Shepard got over her surprise, she looked at Ashley with a big shit-eating grin, and said, „I told you he might be worth something in the field."

Ashley had no choice, but to agree.

* * *

Everything had gone to hell when a geth armature dropped right in front them alongside a bunch of hoppers and troopers.

Shepard's team took down the troopers quickly enough, but the armature's shields regenerated too fast for them to do any actual damage, and a single hopper taking potshots at them from it's hiding spots made things much worse.

The hopper dropped Bob's shields, and made a mistake in thinking it could finish him off. It jumped right towards him, but Wrex lifted it using his biotics. They turned the hopper into a mess of metal parts.

After that, the entire team focused their attention of the armature, who had been slowly whittling down their covers made of crates and rocks. After a minute or two of taking potshots at the armature, it's shield were nearly non-existent.

Bob looked at the grenade Shepard gifted him for the excellent thinking he did in the earlier battle. He then looked at the combat knife requisitioned for him, and the pistol. He then remembered all the fan-fictions he had read about Self-Inserts and that same damn armature, and got the same idea as most of the other ones.

* * *

Shepard thought Bob was absolutely fucking insane when she saw what he was going to do.

Ashley was awed by Bob's bravery and stupidity.

Wrex wasn't even slightly impressed.

Bob threw the grenade right at the armature's feet, and waited for it to explode. When it did, he ran straight towards the armature, knife in one hand, pistol in the other.

He made it halfway there when the armature vaporized the upper half of his body.

Wrex ran in from the side, biotically pushed the armature off balance, rammed it's front leg in blood-rage, and finished it off with a few shotgun rounds to the optics.

When the battle was over and they looked at what was left of Bob, Ashley simply said: „I _told_ you we should have interrogated him for every scrap of information on Saren and the Reapers."

* * *

**Welp. That was the first chapter of "Arrivals In Effect". I hope that I will be able to grow this into a collection of the ends of the more... unfortunate Dimension Travelers. Tell me what you think of it in the reviews, and let me know about anything I could improve on, please!  
**


	2. Chapter 2

**VIP With Confidence**

* * *

Shepard, after achieving the status of the first human Spectre to ever exist, felt her pride grow by the minute. She was called to the Normandy by no other than Anderson, no doubt wanting to congratulate her. _'Though first, I have to get through this fucking elevator,'_ Shepard thought grumpily.

* * *

The moment the elevator doors opened, Anderson, apparently so happy that he had forgotten about handshakes at all, walked straight to Shepard and hugged her.

„You have made humanity _proud_ today, Shepard!"

Her entire ground team was waiting right behind Anderson, most grinning from ear-to-ear and waiting to congratulate her personally.

After Anderson gave her a strong pat on the shoulder, Kaidan walked over for a handshake.

„Damn, Shepard! You really know the best ways to leave us speechless!"

„She ain't called the Hero of Elysium, and Commander Goddamn Shepard for nothing!" Ashley yelled over the small crowd.

Tali, too, was unusually happy over the fact that humans just got their first Spectre. „If it had happened to me, I would be a _hero_ among my people. Even my father would probably be jumping up and down in joy."

After everyone had said their things, done their handshakes, even Joker managed to waddle to Shepard and give the strongest handshake he could. „Nicely done, Shepard. Doesn't mean you don't need the best pilot anymore, though."

„Oh, I made Spectre... I could probably learn it."

„Yeah, and crash into the elevator right behind you. On purpose, too, probably."

Joker was almost into the airlock, when Shepard called after him. „Wait, what did you mean, by _I_ will still need the best pilot?"

„You'll see!" Joker said with a mysterious voice.

That's when Anderson decided to cut in from behind. „Yes, about that, Shepard... I'm stepping down from the command post aboard the Normandy. She's all yours, now."

If the elevator earlier wasn't enough to ruin Shepard's day, those news certainly did it.

„Sir. What the hell do you mean, you're stepping down? The Normandy's _your_ ship."

Anderson sighs quietly. „You're a Spectre, now. You _need_ a fast, quiet ship. And she has an experienced crew. You know them all."

That's when Shepard noticed Udina standing near the elevator, looking at them expectantly.

„Oh, goddammit. Don't tell me you got dragged down by _politics_, sir."

„Off the records? That... Certainly helped the process along."

Shepard could only swear in anger.

Anderson puts up his hands up in a peaceful gesture. „Hold it in a little longer, Shepard. There's more."

Shepard raised an eyebrow. „Oh, you have my curiosity fucking piqued, now... Sir."

„We need you to pick up a VIP from the C-Sec Headquarters down in Zakera ward. He's extremely important. More so than most. You have to get him to the Normandy."

Shepard narrowed her eyes at Anderson. „_Babysitting duty, sir?_"

„Yes, but this _is _important. He... _knows_... Things. Things that no one should be able to know. We've triple checked _everything_ he's said, and it all checks out. He knows what's going to happen down the road. Down to the tiniest of details."

Shepard almost snorted. „Is this some kind of a joke, Anderson?"

„No, Shepard. This most definitely is not a joke. He will be invaluable to you aboard the Normandy. Just get him to the Normandy, and you should be fine. He's said multiple times that he's a biotic, and is more than willing to go through combat training."

The Spectre was now rubbing her forehead in order to alleviate the coming headache.

„Alright, sir..." Shepard activated her Omni-Tool, and calls her ground team.

„Garrus. Tali. Suit up, and get to the airlock. We're on babysitting duty today."

She could see Anderson's relieved sigh. „Thank you, Shepard. Simply get the man to the ship, and everything should be fine."

Then, when Anderson was about to go, he suddenly seemed to remember something.

„Oh, Shepard. Be careful. The VIP seems to... Worship you. Can't stop talking about you."

Then he left.

* * *

Garrus and Tali stepped out the airlock.

„You called?" Tali asked, still a small amount of joy twinkling in her eyes.

Garrus simply seemed to be grumpy. „Babysitting duty, Commander? I guess I can understand your reasoning, with me being in C-Sec."

Shepard smirked slightly. „Oh come on, Garrus. It can't be _that_ bad."

Garrus managed a groan. „Oh, you don't know anything until you've been through it yourself. The VIP-s themselves... And spirits, the_ paperwork_ if the VIP has even the most _trivial_ of complaints!"

Now Shepard seemed to be slightly fearful of the task ahead, but her N7 training told her to suck it up and get it over with.

„Well then. Move out, team!"

* * *

15 minutes later, the team arrived at C-Sec Headquarters. They were waiting for a turian desk jockey to put the necessary papers in order and let the mystery VIP into their custody.

After what seemed a while of tapping foots and making other impatient gestures, the turian finally looked up.

„Well, Commander Shepard. The papers all check out. He's yours. I'll have someone escort him in here. Be careful though... We think he might a bit... Um... Unstable." The officer seemed uncomfortable while saying that last part.

Shepard seemed to know what he's talking about. But decided to humor him anyways. „Oh? What do you mean by „unstable"?"

„The VIP seems to... For the lack of a better word... Worship you. Completely. Half the C-Sec officers posted to guard him told me they were surprised that he hadn't built a shrine for you yet."

Garrus woke up from his trance. „That is... Highly disconcerting. We should be careful when we meet him."

That's when an officer walked the VIP in.

Shepard sized him up, and informed her team. „'Far as I can tell, he's a teenager, maybe early adult. And seems to be wearing 21-st century human clothes."

The man seemed to beam with happiness when he saw Shepard and waved at her.

„Shepard! I can't believe it's actually _you_!"

Then he noticed her team members.

„Garrus Vakarian?! You're the best turian ever!" Garrus started fidgeting visibly.

„How the hell does he know who I am?" Garrus quietly asked Shepard. She simply shrugged.

The VIP squeals very loudly „And _TALI'ZORAH NAR RAYYA_?! This is the simply the _best_ day of my entire life!" Now even Shepard could see that Tali was creeped out behind her visor.

„Oh Keelah... This is not going to be good for me..."

* * *

They were all walking together back to the Presidium, due to all the sky cars being occupied in rush hour.

Shepard decided to alleviate boredom with small talk and occasional useful questions.

„So, what's your name? Never caught it, even though you obviously know all of us."

The VIP seems embarrassed.

„Oh... I never told you my name? Well, I'm very sorry, but it's John. Pleased to meet you!." He managed a crooked smile.

Garrus decided to cut in. „But how do you know about us?"

„Oh, I can't talk about it here, too many eyes, you know? And there are certain..." he coughs for a moment. „...Organizations who's attention I don't want to get."

And for a while the trip is in total silence.

* * *

Until John was looking down the barrel of a gun, that is.

Shepard had her weapon drawn in an instant, Garrus was looking for good sniping positions, and Tali prepared the Incinerate program on her omni-tool.

The threat was a lone, fidgeting batarian, obviously high on something.

Shepard wasn't very impressed when she saw John simply freezing in place, trembling in fear.

Everything was silent for a moment, and then the batarian opened his mouth.

„Look, I don't want anything to happen here! Just... Just gimme' your credits, and you can go!"

Garrus started to flank the batarian, and suddenly he was the hostage instead of John. The sudden movement however, seemed to break John out of his trance, and with a biotic Throw fueled by his fear, he sent the batarian flying over the railings to a lower part of the ward.

_Now_ Shepard was slightly impressed.

„That was a pretty impressive display of biotics there, John. He went flying across the walkway!"

But John wasn't done yet.

„Stay right here, I'm going to make sure the fucker is dead."

Shepard only frowned, and Tali was the one who had to ask: „Wait, why? He's obviously incapacitated, if not dead, now. Shouldn't we get back to the ship now?" She asks, looking expectantly at Shepard.

But it was too late to argue, because their resident VIP jumped straight over the railing in what must have seemed an awesome, cinematic-like move to him at the time.

A passing sky-car going well over the Citadel's speed limit slammed into John's side in mid-air, and completely crushed his bones and organs. Soon after a C-Sec skycar flied past, blaring it's horns.

„Oh Keelah..."

„I'm going to get an earful from Anderson... _and _ Udina."

Garrus was visibly whimpering, and looked ready to faint.

„Oh, _spirits_... The _paperwork_..."

* * *

**The second chapter in Arrivals In Effect, done :D When I looked at the statistics, and noticed my story has 3 followers and was put into The Mass Effect Original Insertion Community, I simply had to write another chapter. Out of celebration, or simple happiness/joy, I haven't decided yet.**

**But I'd like to know something. Should there be more action in the story/stories, or is it fine as it is?**


	3. Chapter 3

**The Unimpressed Hound**

* * *

Paul was a simple person. He worked a desk job, crunching numbers from day in, day out. In his free time, he usually played video games, like Mass Effect. His life was dull, and notable things only rarely happened. But now... He couldn't decide if his friends are playing prank on him, or there was something in that pizza he ordered.

Because there was a live turian staring at him. And this particular turian was not happy.

„I'm only going to ask you one more time. How did you get on the Citadel, past all the security checkpoints without _any_ kind of identification whatsoever."

Paul sighed for what must have been the 100-th time. „I told you, I have _no idea_. I fell asleep on my apartment on Earth, in freaking London, and suddenly I wake up inside an alley on the Zakera ward. For all I know, it could be my friends playing a stupid joke on me."

The turian wrote something on his datapad. _'Probably telling his pals to check my blood for drugs,'_ Paul thought.

Then he thought of something else entirely.

„Wait... How do you know I'm not some sort of spy?"

The C-Sec officer sneered.

„Because a _spy_ would not be dumb enough to get himself caught by asking questions from Avina, the Citadel's VI."

„Or _maybe_ I'm a special case."

That only seemed to anger the officer.

„You're only making this harder on yourself. We just want to know how you got here past the security, and we can arrange a transport back home for you, if you really _are_ telling the truth."

A few minutes went in silence, with Paul staring at the table in front of him, and the turian occasionally tapping something on his omni-tool.

* * *

Until said tool beeped.

The turian tapped his ear.

„Sir?"

„Are you sure, sir?"

„Alright, sir, I'll hand him over."

Paul seemed to perk up a bit after the last sentence.

„It's your lucky day, kid. Your cousin called, told us she'd pick you up. Apparently you weren't lying about it being a prank after all. The next time your friends do something like this again, and I'll personally track them down, got that?"

Paul did his best to hide the confusion.

„Yes, I got that"

„Good. Now come along."

They went out of the interrogation room, with Paul wondering just who would bail him out like this in this galaxy.

* * *

When they made it to the C-Sec HQ Lobby area, Paul's jaw simply dropped, because the moment he saw her, he knew the person who arranged this.

Miranda Lawson.

Then he remembered all about Cerberus, and was suddenly scared of what _they _want from him. He decided to take things at a time and see if he can play this off.

„All right, officer. I'll take him from here."

The turian officer only nodded, and walked away.

Then Miranda looked at Paul, and by the look of her face, Paul realized she probably wasn't very impressed.

„Come with me, we need to talk."

After they were out of the C-Sec Headquarters, Paul couldn't help, but ask: „What does Cerberus want with me?"

Miranda raised an eyebrow. „You know of us?"

Paul started smirking. „Some of your... Actions and operations aren't exactly the subtlest. Especially in the Terminus."

This is when Miranda got suspicious, and decided to keep a better eye on him.

„How do you know about our operations in the Terminus Systems?"

„Oh, a little bit of info from here, a little bit from there..." Paul answered enigmatically.

* * *

Soon after, they arrived at an apartment on top of a skyscraper in the Wards.

Miranda told Paul to get in with a simple hand movement, and locked the door behind them. Then she activated a spherical device and set it down on a table.

When she saw Paul's look, she simply said: „A bug-scrambler." He made a silent Oh-motion with his mouth.

Then Miranda started questioning him.

„How did you get on the Citadel without triggering _any_ alarms in the security checkpoints, and without any identification?"

Paul shrugged. He didn't actually dare to say anything at this point, knowing that Miranda is good at getting information. Sometimes violently.

„I _asked_ you a question."

„I know you did."

„Then answer me." Paul noted that Miranda's tone was getting a bit forceful.

He sighed.

„I simply don't know."

„What do you mean by that?"

„What I _mean_, is that I don't even remember getting on a ship, or shuttle. Really, you should ask my friends. They organised this entire thing. Probably as a prank," Paul added that last bit almost with a whisper.

Miranda smirked slightly, and started moving her hand towards her gun.

„Then you're of no use to us."

„_Wait_! I know information! A lot of stuff, actually! I can tell you what's going to come, and you can triple-check everything I told you this very year!"

Miranda had a predatory smile at this point.

„You really think _that_ will save you?"

Paul started sweating, and rambling.

„I can give you an excellent example! For example – I already said that, shit. Anyways, For example, I know The Illusive Man's name!"

Miranda was slowly moving towards Paul with deliberate hip-motions, obviously enjoying his distress.

„His name is _Jack Harper_! I also know where he got his blue eyes from! A turian by the name of Desolas Arterius took him to some weird-ass temple on Palaven, and it-and it _did_ something to him and a bunch of turians!"

Now Miranda was slightly curious. She made a note of it to ask The Illusive Man about this later.

„And I know where your Headquarters is!" he finished that with a hopeful smile. The smile grew when he saw Miranda stop dead in her tracks and started to eye him warily.

„It's in the Horsehead Nebula, around a red supergiant Anadius! It's called the Cronos Sta..."

Miranda threw Paul out of the window biotically.

By the time he hit the ground, she was already halfway down the stairs to go and inform her superior about a massive security breach.

* * *

**I always wondered if I should try my hand at FanFiction, but never though it would be THIS fun to write! Thank you for all the reviews! I hope you enjoy this as much as the last ones, if not more :)  
**


	4. Chapter 4

**The Mother Of Shitters **** (Note: If you notice a weird update, it's because of a horrible error I discovered in this chapter.)****  
**

Jake was trudging through a sewer, with his Lancer assault rifle raised. His nerves were worked up, mostly because there could be a batarian or a krogan waiting to blast him behind a corner.

How did he get into this situation? By arriving in the Mass Effect universe, ass first, of course. He found his current assault rifle just lying on a floor in Omega, and decided to take up mercenary work. After a few easy odd jobs here and there, managed to get some basic gear, like armor and such.

Now he was after a batarian slaver because of a bounty on the bastard's head. The problem? His hideout was somewhere in the sewer system in the lower parts of Omega. And it's also large. And a maze of shit, dead bodies, and all the other dark secrets the inhabitants of Omega decided to hide.

At least the one who had the bounty out, had also written, that the batarian hideout can't be close to the waste processing system, which ruled out only about 1/10-th of the entire goddamn sewer.

But after Jake picked up the trail of conspicuously hidden mercenaries, he knew the where he had to go.

So there he was... Occasionally flicking off an odd condom, or something that looked suspiciously like a sex toy for a varren.

* * *

Things started to get interesting, when he arrived in a large chamber, that was in almost pristine condition. The first thing Jake noticed, was that there was a large shrine-like object in the middle. Then he noticed that the chamber had almost no waste to speak of.

'_Somebody has been awfully busy,' _Jake thought.

He approached the shrine, and after seeing it, could only say: „What in the absolute fuck?"

It was a collection of dildos, arranged in a throne-like shape. The „throne" had a vintage style picture of a vorcha surrounded by a heavenly light on it.

Jake hear a noise. He instantly turned, with his weapon raised...

* * *

Jake woke up to a series of mumblings, that oddly sounded like preaching. He opened his eyes, and the first thing he saw, was a vorcha standing with his back turned to him. Then he noticed all the dozens of vorcha bowing before him.

„...And now you shall gaze upon this gift that came to us!"

'_Is that thing talking about me?' _Jake thought.

Then one of the bowing vorcha spoke in a light, raspy tone: „My lady! The male is awake!"

Jake was in shock. He had never even heard of female vorcha. And all these looked the same as the males.

Then the standing vorcha turned to look at him.

„You awakened!"

She had a delighted smile and clapped her hands together.

„We make more numbers now!"

He then noticed his hands and legs have been tied to the throne. He started struggling in hopes of getting away from what looked to be a perverted cult of vorcha.

The leading vorcha stepped close to him and cupped his chin.

„You not escape! We use your body! Pump ourselves full of seeds! Make our clan stronger!"

Now Jake was now in full panic mode. Seeing a vorcha's bum hole was _not_ on his top bucket list.

When the vorcha turned her back to him again, he started trashing madly.

„Soon, our savior will save us! Make us strong! We take Omega, and live in _glory_!"

All the other vorcha started cheering.

Jake didn't break free of the straps, but he _did_ break the throne apart. All that mattered to him, was that his hands were free.

The first thing he did, in his panic, was throw a grenade at the vorcha crowd... Which was 5 meters away from him.

Jake rolled and took cover behind the throne.

* * *

He opened his eyes only to be welcomed by a blurry, ringing world. He grabbed his side and felt that something had impaled him. Looking down, he noticed a purple dildo sticking out of his side.

Jake saw some vorchas stumbling around in a less-than-optimal state. He managed to unlock his Lancer from the magnetic seal, and started firing wildly.

Soon after, it gave a warning beep.

Meanwhile, his medi-gel had started to do it's magic, but the system had broken due to the explosion, overflowing into Jake's body. He was effectively overdosed, and he couldn't feel any pain anymore.

So the only logical thing to do, Jake apparently thought, was to get up and randomly bludgeon any vorcha still moving to death.

* * *

With his bare hands.

Which were now covered in vorcha guts, eyeballs, brains, and 20 other parts he couldn't even recognize.

Jake was stumbling through the sewers, forgetting all about the slaver and only wanting to go home.

* * *

He had gone the wrong way. Now he was hiding behind a series of huge pipes as a squad of batarians were firing at him.

He had a hard time firing back, because one: massive amounts of rounds flying his way, and two: his vision was swimming thanks to the medi-gel overdose and whatever diseases were currently ravaging his immune system.

He also had a really hard time staying awake by now.

„Come out pal, and _maybe_ we'll make your death quick!" he heard a batarian yell.

Jake took his last grenade, and lobbed it in the general direction of the batarians. After hearing an explosion, he popped out of cover and riddled a batarian with bullets, who had jumped over to Jake's side of his cover to escape the explosion.

He noted, that there were only 2 left, as there were 4 scorched bodies on the floor.

One of the two popped out of cover, and started firing at Jake, mad with rage.

His shields held long enough to cap the batarian and to get back in cover when the last one started firing at him.

Jake prepared his Sabotage program on the Omni-Tool, and fired it at the lone batarian. While the four-eyes was fumbling with his assault rifle, Jake ran up to him and fired at the batarian's head until there was no head to speak of.

Jake decided that he would take his chances against the slaver instead of going out of the sewers covered in shit and shame. So he stumbled onwards.

* * *

He could only move by sliding alongside the walls, using them as support.

His eyes were too blurry to make out any small objects.

He was repeating „The slaver can't be far now" like a mantra. Jake went around a corner, and stumbled into a batarian. They both raised their weapons, but Jake was too slow. The batarian too, apparently, because his chest exploded.

Then Urdnot Wrex ran past to claim his bounty, pushing Jake over and accidentally curbstomping his head.

He yelled: „Better luck next time, pyjack!" almost as an after-thought.

* * *

**Yet another chapter of Arrivals In Effect! Tell me what you think of it ;D**

**I see that my list of favorites, follows and reviews are slowly growing. So far, all the reviewers seem to like my story, too! This is actually much farther than I thought I would get! So thank you people. Without seeing the follows and favorite count slowly, but steadily rise, I would have never gotten the motivation to keep doing this. So don't forget to review, and I'll see you in next chapter!**

**Oh, also. If anyone has ideas for more chapters, send me a PM or write a review! If it it isn't beyond my power to write, I'll write it! And you'll also get the credit. Nearly forgot to mention that. I have already gotten quite a few neat ideas from your suggestions ;)**


	5. Chapter 5

**Beacon'd And the Beacon Of Sues**

* * *

John used to be a Special Forces operative in the US Army. „Used to be", was the keyword here. He was a big fan of video games, so he noticed immediately, that something was very wrong when there was a batarian waving a gun at his face, yelling obscenities no doubt.

Things got even weirder, when a red-haired woman swooped in and saved his sorry ass, and told him she was an „N7 Operative".

* * *

It had been years since that day, and now John was slowly moving towards Eden Prime's spaceport alongside Jane Shepard, knowing what they would find.

„I still can't believe Jenkins lived up to his name," John said.

„Yeah, if he hadn't died, I would've laughed my ass off," Jane answered with her mouth curved up in a smile.

Kaidan and Ashley only raised their eyebrows at the exchange.

„Hey, anyone else see the smoke on that hill ahead?" Kaidan asked after some time had passed.

„That's where the research camp is. Maybe someone's still alive?"

Seeing Ashley's hopeful expression, John quickly said: „It'd be best, if you don't get your hopes up. You look pretty beat up about the death of your own unit as it is."

Ashley scowled and was about to say something, when Shepard cut them off. „Eyes forward, people. Could be friendlies, could be hostiles up there."

When they got closer to the camp, Kaidan decided to point out: „Be careful. Look like a good place for an ambush."

„Good, eyes, Alenko," Shepard replied.

Then Kaidan noticed something else. „Hey, look at that. More impaled people. They look... Different... Wait, are those even human?!"

Then the spikes lowered themselves, as if knowing something living was nearby, and then the creatures stood up.

The entire team stood still, horrified at the sight as the „humans" were lumbering closer accompanied by moans slowly rising in volume.

John, already knowing what those are, snapped out of it first, and started shooting.

„Don't bother taking cover, and aim for the legs first!"

That spurred the whole team into action, as they all started firing at the small crowd of husks.

In already five seconds, half of the husks had to crawl, and the other half were hopelessly clawing at air as Kaidan lifted them up.

It took the squad another few seconds to turn the husks into mush.

After a minute of silence, Ashley asked, „How did you know to go for the legs, sir?"

John shrugged. „I guess it's video game experience. And those tubes didn't really look like they would be able to hold them up without all the meat surrounding them."

Jane patted him on the shoulder. „Good thinking, soldier."

They were about to check the buildings for survivors, when the radio beeped.

„Shepard here."

„Nihlus here. Change of plans. Spotted a spaceport just ahead. I'm going to check it out. It won't be long."

„Got it. Shepard out."

* * *

Not soon after, the team found a found a locked building. They hacked into it, and encountered two fidgeting humans.

Shepard noticed John looking at her almost expectantly. Almost as if he's waiting for her to make some sort of decision.

She raised her eyebrow at him slightly, and turned to address the survivors with a smile.

„Hello there. I'm Commander Jane Shepard, N7 Operative. I presume you two are scientists?"

One of the two, a woman, spoke up.

„Yes, I am Doctor Warren, and my assistant here is Manuel."

They all looked at him, who was still looking very nervous.

„What's wrong with him?" Shepard asked.

„Oh, don't mind Manuel. You see, madness and genius have always been two sides of the same coin, and he hasn't gotten his medication today. The attack also completely unhinged him, I think."

Then Manuel spoke. „Mad? _Mad?!_ I am the only _sane_ one left! No one else can see the destruction heading towards us!"

Doctor Warren only shrugged helplessly.

„Is he going to be a danger to anyone?" Shepard asked, while looking at the crazy scientist warily.

„Oh no, he just needs to lie down for a bit, and wait for the medications to take effect! I promise, he won't harm anyone!"

The team was skeptical of her reassurances.

John spared a quick glance at Shepard, and then sighed.

„I can only see two ways this can go down... Night-night, Manuel."

„The truth cannot be silenced! Death and destru..." Manuel wasn't able to finish his sentence due to a sudden, and unfortunate fist-to-the-face syndrome.

„Oh my god, what have you _done_?!" the other scientist screams.

Ashley had her weapon up and aimed at John in an instant, while Kaidan was trying his best to calm her down.

Jane was glaring at John. „What the _hell_ was that?!"

He looked at everyone for a second, and then shrugged. „He was obviously insane, and quite possibly a danger. This _was _the best choice."

„That still doesn't mean you can go around, whacking civilians over their heads!" Jane replied while giving him a death glare. Doctor Warren was holding Manuel's head in her arms, and nodded frantically, obviously agreeing with Shepard.

John sighed theatrically. „Drama-queens..." Then he waved at the general direction of the door.

„Shouldn't we be going to the spaceport Nihlus mentioned?"

* * *

They were well out of the research camp and on top of a hill, when they heard a loud bang.

„What was that? I think it came from the spaceport. You think Nihlus shot someone?" Kaidan asked.

„I don't know. You'd think there would be more geth at a spaceport than just one trooper guarding the crates or something," John replied.

Jane chuckled. „That would be a sight." Then she did her best police officer impression. „Hold right there, turian scum! I can see you rummaging through Eden Prime's finest beer collection! Pay your fine, or do your time!"

John and Kaidan started chuckling along, and even Ashley cracked a smile. Everyone liked the image of a geth trooper with the Sheriff's star-shaped badge on it's chest and a cowboy hat on it's head.

* * *

They were at the edges of the spaceport, when a bunch of patrolling geth troopers suddenly showed up from behind some crates and started shooting at them, sending husks like attack dogs their way.

Shepard's team was hiding behind some rocks.

„Goddammit, where the hell did those clowns come from?! I didn't even hear any of them!" John yelled over the sound of constant gunfire.

„Just shut up, and keep shooting!" Ashley yelled back, while rising from cover, and shot a leg off a dangerously close husk.

John took the advice, and finished off that same husk a few seconds later.

„Kaidan, lift up that damn trooper!" Jane yelled with a commanding tone.

Kaidan simply rose up from cover, and lifted said trooper, allowing the rest of the team to finish it off.

Suddenly, a husk jumped over Jane's cover and started clawing at her helmet. Others were startled by this turn of events, but couldn't get a clear shot at it due to the two trashing about, trying to gain an advantage over the other.

Suddenly, Shepard grabbed it's hands, and pulled the husk over her head. Then she pinned it down with her knee, and caved it's head in with her fist.

* * *

Soon after, their enemies were all down, and they were making their way slowly towards the spaceport.

When they arrived there, Shepard noticed something disconcerting. A certain dead turian.

John saw it, too, and simply stated, „That's Nihlus, isn't it."

Shepard could only nod morbidly.

* * *

Meanwhile, up in the Normandy, Anderson was writing up his report on the events that had happened so far.

He was startled, when the radio beeped.

„_Anderson? Shepard here. We have a development here."_

Not liking the sound of that, he asked quickly: „What sort of development?"

„_We just found Nihlus sir. He's... Dead. Shot clean through the back of his head. Whoever did this, he didn't see them coming."_

Anderson knew, that something that could sneak up on a Spectre was bad news. The only thing he could do, was sigh, and rub his forehead.

„Alright... The Beacon is still your top priority. Anything else to report?"

„_Nothing else, sir."_

Anderson was about to turn off the radio, when suddenly he heard John talk.

„_Wait. Shepard! Something behind the crates."_

„_What is it?"_

„_Only one way to find out... GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE CRATES NOW OR I'LL DRAG YOU OUT!"_

Now Anderson was frowning.

„_Don't shoot me, I'm human!"_

„_What's your name, pal?"_

„_My name's Powell! And can you please stop pointing that gun at me?"_

„_You don't get to ask me anything, much less make requests right now! For all we know, YOU could have organised this entire thing!"_

„_Wait... What?! Why would I..."_

„_Don't lie to me! I bet your boss did something to piss you off, huh?! A lowly dockworker like you couldn't possibly stand up to anyone! So you decided to call in the geth!"_

„_WHAT?! That's absolutely insane!"_

„_Then prove me wrong!"_

Anderson was increasingly confused.

„Shepard, what the hell is going on down there?" She didn't seem to hear him, because the questioning went on.

„_Then tell me everything you know about the attack, and the turian!"_

„_Alright, alright! Well, at first, that damn ship arrived! It made this screaming sound, woke me right up. Then the geth arrived, and shot up the entire place, killing everything that moved! Not soon after, that turian came here. Then another turian came here, and shot him the back of the head! That's all I know, I swear!"_

Anderson, slightly frustrated at the lack of any answer, heard Ashley's voice suddenly.

„_Wait, it woke you up?"_

„_Erm... Well... You see, sometimes, the days are long, and I go behind the crates and grab 40 winks."_

Then it went back to John.

„_Wait, you survived because you were LAZY? You PRICK!"_

„_Look, I'm sorry, I never thought any of this would happen!"_

„_Oh, you don't know the meaning of sorry, yet..."_

„_Oh god! Okay, please, take this gun mod I have, it should help you against the geth!"_

„_Are you sure this is all you have"?_

„_What... What do you mean?"_

„_Give us EVERYTHING you have, or I will blow you."_

„_Wait, WHAT are you talking about?!"_

„_I will do it! You know what they say. In space, no one can hear you __**cream**__."_

„_What?! Oh god, get away from me! Help me, he's insane!"_

Then the radio exploded in activity.

„_John, what the..."_

„_Oh god, is he gonna do what I think..."_

„_Oh, this is too good to pass..."_

„_Get away from me, frea..."_

„_You will give us EVERYTHING..."_

Anderson wanted answers, and he wanted them now.

„Shepard, report _now_! What is going _on_ down there?!"

„_Alright, ALRIGHT, I have this grenade, take it, please! Just don't do anything to me!"_

The man named Powell seemed to be on the verge of tears by now.

„_Well, thank you. Wasn't so hard, was it, now? You can go have fun sleeping now. We'll be on our way."_

„Shepard, dammit!" Anderson was furious now.

Finally, she responded. _„yes, sir?"_

„What just _happened_"? It's been a long time since he's been this confused over anything.

„_Oh, nothing special. We just got to witness John's... Unique... Interrogation techniques. Everything is fine, sir. Sorry, sir, I didn't realize the radio was still on. Didn't mean to startle you."_

Then Joker's voice came on the intercom.

„_Sir, you should see their helmet cams, because that was __**hilarious**__. Don't worry, I saved the videos. We can all enjoy them over snacks together later."_

* * *

They were on the tram.

Shepard, Kaidan, and Ashley were still quietly chuckling, while sending glances toward John.

He returned the looks with an 'innocent puppy' face.

* * *

Not too soon after, they were running around, defusing bombs, and fending off the occasional geth attack.

Meanwhile, the giant-ass ship in the middle of the colony had left.

They were at their last bomb, while a bunch of geth troopers and a destroyer were slowly moving towards them from cover to cover.

„Bomb defused!" John yelled.

„I hope the good days when you could simply slap omni-gel on everything never ends!" Jane happily responded.

John got up from the bomb and lobbed a grenade at the geth while getting to cover.

Fortunately for them, the limited intelligence of the current squad of geth had meant that they were all bunched up, and the grenade instantly riddled half of them with shrapnel, and blew a couple of limbs off. The survivors were quickly gunned down when they stumbled out of cover. Only the scorched destroyer was left.

It charged towards them, believing it to be the best tactic. But then Kaidan lifted the lone geth up, and inertia carried it forward. The team stepped out of it's way, and put it out of it's misery after the destroyer had slammed into a wall in mid-air.

* * *

Now they were hiding behind a series of crates as they were watching two strange people next to the beacon.

John noted, that one was a female. She had ridiculous body proportions. As in, perfect skin, curves, a giant rack, and so on. Everything she had was perfect. The woman was also glowing and crackling with biotics. The other was a male, also with the „perfect" body. They seemed to be bickering over something.

Shepard looked at her team, and asked: „Suggestions?"

„I say we keep observing. See what happens," Ashley answered.

Kaidan and John nodded in agreement.

Shepard took the advice. „Observing it is, then."

* * *

Soon, the bickering grew loud enough for them to hear.

„I would be more important to Shepard than _you_ ever could! I can kill shit with my mind!"

„Oh yeah? That shit ain't gonna be useful when you dont have any sort of combat skill to speak of! You're literally useless on the battlefield!"

The woman hissed at the man like a cat.

John thought that this was extremely weird.

But then he slowly started to think more intensely about it when their arguing slowly got more heated.

Then the realization hit him like a brick.

'_Holy shit, these are Sues!'_ He had figured he wasn't alone in this whole „get-dumped-in-the-Mass Effect-universe" thing, but to find actual Sues arguing over their importance for Shepard?

For once, he figured the the ensuing fight would prove priceless. But then he thought about the destruction such egomaniacal, admittedly super-powerful people could cause.

Now, he was just tensely waiting for the inevitable shit to hit the fan.

And then it did, when the woman suddenly slammed the other Sue into a wall with her biotics.

Now Shepard's team watched in awe, as both of the bickering humans were dishing out unbelievable amounts of damage to each other. The female was attacking the male with a series of Warps, Throws, and whatever else she could come up with, while the man was dodging her attacks and constantly delivering devastating punches. Shepard could swear she heard a crack when the woman received a hay-maker to the jaw.

Soon after though, the woman had had enough, and released all her power into a devastating blast, launching crates and vehicles dozens of meters, and tearing down whatever walls were standing. Even the beacon nearly tipped over.

But when Shepard saw that, she made a decision.

Before anyone could stop her, she went down the walkway.

The Sues instantly recognized her, and the female said: „Shepard, finally you're here! This asshole was trying to..."

She didn't get to finish her sentence because Shepard suddenly whipped out her pistol and shot the female point-blank in the face.

The man was shocked, and also received a bullet to the face before he could react.

* * *

The rest of the team came down the ramp slowly, watching in pure awe. John was the only one who knew the extent of Sue powers, and thought that Shepard was absolutely bat-shit crazy.

When John approached her, he could hear her simply say: „What a bunch of fucking retards."

The team checked to see if the Sues were truly dead, and noted that they were, but also saw the surprising lack of injuries. Only a few bruises here and there.

"Good God, who were those guys?" Ashley asked, awe and fear evident in her voice

John only shrugged, knowing all too well who they were.

* * *

After they had secured the Beacon, and the surrounding area, they were staring at the geth flagship's landing spot.

Ashley was the first to speak up.

„Holy shit. That ship must've had a lot of power to pull off a landing like _this_ with it's size."

The rest only nodded in agreement.

Then John nudged Jane.

„Hey, should we check out the Beacon? Make sure there's no damage to it, and whatnot?"

Jane looked at him for a second, remembering the two bickering idiots who were here previously and then looked towards the beacon.

„Yep. That's a good idea. Let's go."

What Shepard didn't know, was that John knowingly lured her to the Beacon.

He waited a bit farther back and watched as Shepard approached the Beacon.

Suddenly, it lit up, and lifted her up into the air.

John saw his chance to gain the Beacon's visions for himself, too, and ran.

He grabbed Jane's foot.

What he didn't know, was that the Beacon wasn't designed for this, and the sudden appearance of another being threw it off slightly. Jane was unaffected, and continued to receive the stream of images from the ancient relic, while John's brain was fried, instantly killing him.

Kaidan and Ashley noticed it, after they saw him flop to the ground.

Shepard was still in the influence of the Beacon.

Ashley looked at her, then John, and then turned to Kaidan uncertainly.

„How should we... Uh... Inform Shepard of this later?"

Kaidan was scared at the thought of Shepard going on a rampage demanding to know why John made such a dumb move.

„I simply do not know."

They both stood there, uncomfortably for a while. Then, as if suddenly remembering something, Kaidan activated ground-to-ship communications.

„Sir. We uh... Have a development here."

* * *

**Whew! This was the longest chapter I've written so far. Came out good, too, I think.**

**Now, the credits: **

**Chaszcz - SI get's killed by the Beacon.**

**Triggs - 2 SI-s fighting over their importance to Shepard.**

**I combined the two ideas into one chapter to see how this would turn out. I truly hope you two got the story you wanted!**

**Oh, and the part with Powell? There are no typos there. Just in case you were confused ;)**

**Don't forget to review, and I'll see you in the next Chapter!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Vented**

* * *

A whip went across his back with a loud crack. He could feel the blood seeping out.

„Get moving, you pathetic excuse of a living being!"

This experience is giving him a whole new meaning for hate.

Jack thought that hate is when someone steals your candy and you want to simply punch them.

Now he wanted to murder every single batarian he would ever come across.

He wanted to gouge all of their eyes out one by one, and then curbstomp their head until they stopped moving.

But for now...? He simply gave the batarian slaver a death glare, and kept carrying the crate filled with Element Zero.

Then the intercoms suddenly came online.

„_All workers! Deposit the Eezo you have collected and get to your cells!"_

Jack went to the collection station and dropped off his current load, completely exhausted.

What made this mining operation particularly effective, was that it was on an asteroid.

Noone could hope to escape, and they all knew it. Which only left two options: Keep mining Eezo, or try to kill the slavers. The latter usually didnt work out so well due to one side having a rather large amount of weapons.

There was also the low gravity, but that was because the slavers had tweaked the gravity plating so their slaves could carry heavier loads.

The entire way back to his cell, Jack had been pondering on different ways to escape and kill the guards.

But he saw no way whatsoever. There were simply too many slavers, and he wasn't a combat specialist.

In fact, until he arrived to the Mass Effect universe, he never thought he would need to learn how to kick someone's ass.

* * *

Jack was sitting in his cell somberly, trying not to think about his back pains. He looked around.

It was a simple cell, with just one metal wall, and a door. They hadn't bothered to wall off the rock and dust. Just enough so that the slaves wouldn't be able to escape. All he had was a bed and a small, carved hole in a corner to do his business in.

* * *

It was his 10-th day on the „job". He was extracting a rather large deposit of Eezo with a small team.

He was watching as the machines slowly processed the ore and separated the Element Zero from useless rock.

Suddenly, an older slave, with a long white beard approached him, and spoke in a raspy voice.

„I know you're looking for a way out. I have a way."

Jack looked at him for a second and raised his eyebrow. Then he looked back at towards the machinery and made it a point to ignore the old guy.

„You may act like a child all you want, but there are vents throughout the asteroid. They can lead you to the office of the one who is leading this operation."

Jack slightly perked up when he heard that. He gave the old man a wary look, and asked: „Is this a joke of some sort, or are you actually speaking the truth?"

The old man only smiled briefly. Jack nearly missed it.

„In the third section, at the 6-th turn from the main area, there is a rusty grate that leads into a vent. There are also no cameras there. Wait for a slaver patrol to go past it, then would be the safest time to crank it open."

The old man handed him a small jagged piece of metal.

„Here. It will work as a screwdriver well enough. There's a small hole in the grate, you can use that to to put it back in place more easily, once inside."

Jack nodded briefly to express his gratitude, and hid it inside a small hole in his shirt sleeve.

„From there, work your way upwards. The office is on the top floor."

Jack got slightly suspicious of the old man.

„Why don't you do it yourself?"

He chuckled.

„I'm too old for that shit. I can't crawl through those dusty ducts and then kill a batarian."

Jack only nodded again. „Alright, then. I'll get to it as soon as I can."

* * *

The next day, he was impatiently walking back and forth near the vent with a full load of Eezo, waiting for a patrol to go past.

Soon enough, a pair of batarians with assault rifles and whips came along.

„Hey you, what the hell have you been doing here all this time? Get your ass into the storage areas."

Jack suddenly stopped and nearly dropped the crate in fear. How did they know he was waiting here?

„Hey, didn't you hear me, slave? _Get moving._" One of the slavers took out his whip and cracked it against the floor.

„Looks like someone needs to be taught some obedience." They started grinning at the prospect of getting to beat up another human.

They were slowly walking closer to him, like he was some sort of a prey for them.

Jack woke up from his stupor, and suddenly dropped the crate on their toes.

The batarians screamed our in pain. „You piece of shit, We're gonna get you for that!"

He punched one of them in face hard enough to drop him to the floor. While the other batarian was jumping from one foot to the other madly, trying to alleviate the pain, Jack unclasped the assault rifle from the downed batarian and used it to kill them both quickly.

Knowing the noise had been heard, he quickly got to work on getting the grate open.

Jack used the metal piece to unscrew the grate and got in. He picked up the grate, lifted it back in position, and started moving upwards in the dusty, rusty old vents.

* * *

Jack was coughing more often. The dust was like sandpaper to his lungs, and he had been slowly crawling upwards for half an hour already.

At the moment he was going through a rather long, straight section of the ventilation system. It was also loud. Really loud. He blamed it on the machinery that must have been somewhere nearby, just beyond the walls.

He reached the end of the current vent section, only to find a large tube going vertically.

Jack saw no other way but to go downwards. A temporary setback, he thought.

He realised his huge mistake just as he was starting to fall towards the giant fans right below him.

With nothing to grab onto, he went into panic, and started screaming.

* * *

The batarian slavers in the office laughed hysterically as they watched the human get torn into pieces by the fans on camera.

It went on for a full minute, and when they finally stopped, the lead batarian spoke up.

„That was the most hilarious one I've seen yet! The others never even bother with the vent, and simply try to kill all of us head-on!"

Then he addressed the old, white-bearded man in the room.

„You have more than earned your... Privileges. The new vids and red sand are waiting for you in your cell. Now go."

The old man, smiling, bowed for a moment, and then left to enjoy his new rewards.

* * *

**What do you think about that? An SI getting a perfect opportunity to escape, only to have it turn out to be a trap set by his fellow slave in the name of his next dose of 'sand.**

**Don't forget to review, and I'll see you in the next chapter!  
**


	7. Chapter 7

**Archived**

* * *

There was a planet of red. It was cold and dead, it's only signs of any activity being the occasional storm wreaking havoc.

Below the surface, there was a structure, inert. It had been in that state for tens of thousands of years. But something caused all of it's systems to activate. An anomaly in the form of an unknown life sign. The life form had appeared in the structure's central chamber, accompanied by a bright flash of light.

* * *

Bob was feeling groggy. The cold surface beneath him didn't help his situation.

He slowly opened his eyes, and was surprised at the lack of light around him. Bob looked around, and saw that he was in a large room with nearly pitch-black walls, and a strange monument in the center.

He got up, and started walking towards it warily, ready to book it the moment something happened.

Bob stopped at something that looked suspiciously like a console. He stared at it warily for what felt like an hour. Then he poked it with his finger.

He jumped back when suddenly a loud humming noise came from the monument. The entire room suddenly lit up, bathed in bright green light. Bob noticed that a series of symbols had appeared on the console in front of him. He pressed something that looked like a button.

Suddenly, a holographic display appeared. There were more symbols on it arranged in a way like a menu of some sort.

Bob had suspicions nagging at the back of his mind, but when he pressed another symbol, and saw what appeared on the display next, nearly gave him a heart attack.

He knew he was in the Mass Effect universe. How? The holographic display in front of him had been separated from the middle. On one side, a video of human mating was playing, and on the other side was a video that looked suspiciously like a prothean mating ritual.

Occasionally small boxes appeared, filled with symbols and pointing at things in the videos with arrows.

„I didn't know the protheans were _this_ thorough in their research," Bob muttered to himself, astonished and disturbed by the sight in front of him.

When he finally realized where he was, he felt excited and scared at the same time.

He was on the Prothean Archives right under Mars. But he noticed that there were no objects that even remotely looked like something the humans could have brought there.

He was slowly starting to panic.

„Alright, alright, think! Why are there no humans except me? Maybe they just arrived?" He asked himself, looking around frantically. He then spotted an object that looked suspiciously like a door, with a small glowing panel next to it.

Bob ran over to the object, slammed the panel and felt a small amount of relief when the door opened. He went outside the chamber to explore.

* * *

A few hours had passed, and Bob was sitting in front of the data cache, crying.

There was nothing in the entire research base but the cache, some rooms that looked like a recreational area, and of course a small hangar with about a dozen prothean shuttles.

He had tried to operate one, but could only figure out how to close and open the doors.

A few minutes passed, and he decided to see if he can find anything useful in the data cache. He got up and slowly waddled over to the console.

* * *

Hours had passed, and he had only found out that the protheans studied humans by implanting them with chips that connected to their brain. Then they came back after a few years, picked the human up and extracted the chip. By extracted, it meant they violently ripped it out of the human's brain without any sort of concern for the test subject's survival.

So there he was, staring at the footage as the ancient humans hunted, ate, and sleep.

Bob closed the video, and kept skimming the cache's information. He came across what seemed to be technical information on the protheans themselves.

He started looking through it with little excitement, knowing he was very likely doomed already.

But then he came across something very interesting. There was an image in front of him. Blueprints of the shuttles in the hangar, to be more exact. He pressed a symbol on the panel, knowing it would give him a more detailed look of it. The display went a little larger and gave a more detailed look of the blueprints. Then suddenly a small object came up from the console.

He touched it carefully, and then the world disappeared. He felt as if his brain was on fire as information from the cache was being streamed into his mind. He was unable to move for minutes, until the data cache was done with it's sudden info-dump and let Bob slump down onto the cold floor.

* * *

Bob was holding his head tightly between his hands, as if afraid it would explode otherwise.

He knew the amount of information dumped in his brain was small, but it still hurt like hell.

He slowly sat up, grimacing in pain, and looked around just in case to see if the research base was still there. It was, and his grimace deepened. Bob had almost hoped he would wake up from a dream.

He waited for the pain to subside. When it was more bearable, he started pondering.

Bob was searching his mind for anything new or out of place. He soon found it, a jumbled mess of unfamiliar words and memories. He slowly stood up, and started walking towards the hangar, driven by a nagging suspicion at the back of his head.

* * *

Bob was sitting in one of the shuttles. He was looking at the buttons and symbols, slowly, one by one figuring out what they were supposed to mean with the help of the new memories and information in his mind. Soon, he pressed what he hoped were the necessary buttons to start up the shuttle.

Amazingly, they were. The shuttle started humming, and small lights came on. Bob then started manipulating the shuttle's mass effect field with a series of buttons.

The prothean shuttle was slowly rising into the air as Bob readied it's systems for flight.

Even though he had the memories of a prothean operating the shuttle, he got overconfident, as he soon found out. He accidentally pressed a wrong button, and throughout the hangar a teeth-rattling crash could be heard as the shuttle plummeted back to the ground.

The tiny mass effect core went unstable, flooding the hangar with element zero.

* * *

Bob was feeling worse than ever before. He was sure half of his ribs were broken. He slowly pushed himself off the broken control panel, and started stumbling out of the shuttle, leaning onto the walls for support. He nearly got out, when suddenly the mass effect core detonated, blowing the shuttle in half, and vaporising everything inside.

* * *

Hundreds of years later, the humans would officially discover the prothean Archives on Mars, find the security footage of the prothean research facility from 500 years ago, and wonder:

„Why the fuck didn't that guy just use the auto-pilot?"

* * *

**Credit: Chaszcz for the idea**

**Sorry it took me this damn long to upload the next chapter. Life, the fat bastard, decided to use me as a punching bag this week.  
**

**Hopefully I'll have another chapter up later today, or tomorrow, to make up for it.**


	8. Chapter 8

**The Mind-fuck Of Ages**

* * *

Inside a small transport shuttle docked in a large space station, a man named Jason had dozed off.

He was having a nice dream about wrestling with a miniature version of Sovereign.

Until Sovereign roundhouse kicked him in the face with one of it's tentacles so hard he woke up, that is.

He found himself in a completely unfamiliar place, with a batarian who seemed to be furious at him.

„Off. My. Shuttle."

Jason felt a warm liquid going down his face. He smudged his fingers with it and saw that they were covered in blood. He realised the batarian was the one who actually punched him. He stood up quickly and started to back away from the alien. It only seemed to anger him.

„Wrong way, human. Get off my shuttle. _Now._"

Jason ran past the alien, who was muttering something along lines of „Damn humans," and quickly exited the small ship.

When he made it outside and saw all, that was around him, he was completely baffled. He was entertaining the possibility that this could be some elaborate prank, but quickly threw that thought away. Why? Because he knew that there is no way in hell, that anyone could possibly replicate Omega, straight from the Mass Effect universe.

The more he looked around, the more he became sure of it. It was simply too detailed. He was on a catwalk supported by rusty beams. Next to him was the shuttle that he was kicked out of, and all around him were buildings , and some of them were even hanging upside down from some unseen ceiling.

Everything was dirty, and smudged. There were large fires in the distance, and holographic signs flashing their advertisements.

It was a mental list he had made for himself. Though the most important aspect of Omega, that most definitely confirmed that he truly was on Omega, was the amount of garbage... And smell.

He hadn't even notice himself cringing from it until now.

After Jason was done taking in the sights, he decided to get off the catwalk, and explore a bit of the station.

He started walking, his steps full of purpose.

Until he tripped over a discarded pistol, and fell face-first into a pile of someone's waste.

* * *

Jason was now striding through the streets of Omega with an angry scowl on his face, gripping his new pistol and pointedly ignoring the amused stares he was given, constantly muttering at the same time: „I'm gonna kill whoever took that fucking dump over there."

He had been walking in random directions for half an hour, trying to hide the brown smudges on his face.

His relief was almost palpable when he saw a small secluded alley.

Jason quickly went over there, and sat down to contemplate his situation.

He started making a list of things he needed to do.

* * *

Jason had been in the dark alley for 10 minutes, when he was about to get up to go find some money for food, or food itself.

Until a quarian got shoved in there. The quarian stumbled past him and fell to the floor, obviously pushed by someone.

Then an asari walked in, swaying her hips in a superior manner.

Very soon, she noticed Jason sitting, staring at her with a raised eyebrow.

The asari started smirking.

„Well, well, well... What do we have here?" she asked, amused at the sulking human.

„Someone, who's day is fucked up enough as it is, without some crazy tentacle monster trying to rape me, or something," Jason replied with an almost non-caring tone.

The asari laughed briefly, and then shrugged nonchalantly.

„I don't plan on raping you. This quarian though... She got in my way, and I decided to see what they're like. Oh, and also take her credit chit after I'm done. And you are here too, so I can get double the money!"

Jason briefly glanced at the female quarian, who was obviously terrified, and frantically looking around for any possible ways to escape.

Then the asari started walking towards Jason.

He frantically jumped up and was about to raise his pistol, when the asari put him in stasis.

„Tsk, tsk, tsk. Who's a naughty little boy?" she asked him in a mocking tone. Then the asari patted him on the head, and said: „You wont go anywhere until I'm finished with her, right? Good."

She strutted over to the quarian, who was now hiding her head between her knees.

The asari grabbed her hands, lifted her up almost without effort, and slammed the quarian against the wall.

In the excitement though, she apparently forgot about the Stasis she put on Jason.

The constricting field disappeared around him, and he raised his pistol.

The asari heard the movement though, and moved her head to look towards Jason just in time to receive mass accelerated round to the face, which shredded her head to pieces.

The quarian's visor, being the closest to the asari, was now covered in blood and brains.

Jason slowly walked over to the body, and searched it's pockets for anything valuable. He found quite a hefty amount of credit chits, but each of them only containing about a 100 credits at most, though.

The quarian, being silent so far from sheer terror, suddenly spoke up.

„Keelah... I just came to Omega to earn some credits, maybe buy a ship... I had heard stories of returned pilgrims, but... I never believe it to be _this_ bad..."

Then she wiped most of the organic matter off her visor, and looked at Jason gratefully.

„Thank you... If you hadn't been there... Keelah..."

Jason could see her shaking. He slowly walked over to her, and patted her on her shoulder. After that, he walked out of the alley.

But before he dissapeared, the quarian could swear she heard him say: „Goddamn tentacle motherfuckers... They fuck anything that has a pulse..."

* * *

Soon after, Jason had found a small shop that was selling home appliances, cleaning agents being among those, and water, so he could finally clean his face up.

Having done that, he was now sitting on a bench next to a bar that was blaring extremely loud music, looking at his pistol from different angles.

He was reconsidering his entire list of priorities. After a few minutes of thinking, he came up with the most important thing to do: Be a badass.

The best way to start? To get shitfaced and save pretty ladies from criminals, he figured.

Jason purposefully stood up, and strutted over to the bar.

He stepped in, and immediately noticed the strangeness of the patrons. There was an unusual amount of krogans and turians around. Half of them seemed to be conversing with each other, and quite politely, too.

He sat down on a free chair next to a bunch of krogans, and signaled for the bartender.

When he lumbered over to Jason, he asked: „What'll it be, human?"

Jason pondered for a few seconds, and then decided: „I'll have something light first, see where it goes from there."

The krogan gave him a weird look.

Then he spread his arms wide, obviously proud of his bar.

„You're going to go for something light? In _my_ establishment? Boy, if you haven't noticed yet, we serve nothing but the strongest stuff for the toughest of people!"

Jason looked around, and noticed the other patrons were staring at him now.

And then he thought, that badasses drink nothing but the strongest stuff, and changed his order.

„I'll have ryncol, actually."

The bartender started grinning.

„Are you sure? That stuff hits your intestines like ground glass."

„But it doesn't kill me?" Jason asked.

„Nope, at least not the first glass," the krogan answered.

Jason nodded. „I've made my decision. I want ryncol."

The bartender only shrugged, and went to get a glass.

Jason settled in to wait. But then a turian suddenly slapped him on his shoulder, and sat next to him.

„If you survive that first glass, you can be proud of yourself! And you'll also be welcome among all of us here," the turian said cheerfully.

Jason looked at him, and nodded with a smile, already affected by the turian's cheerfulness.

„But be careful. He knows his drinks. His drinks are always the highest quality stuff, and by extension, the strongest stuff on this entire station," the turian added as an afterthought.

Then Jason looked ahead slightly fearfully, and started re-thinking his plans. It was too late though, as the bartender already came back with a glass filled with a green liquid.

„Here you go. Make sure you down it all together for the best effect."

Jason looked around only to see every single patron looking back at him, waiting expectantly. He looked at his drink, and gulped.

Suddenly, a krogan on his left spoke up in a joking tone: „If you're having second thoughts, we can always feed it to a turian and demonstrate what happens."

Jason glanced at the krogan, and smirked. Then he suddenly picked up the glass and downed it as fast as he could swallow. The ryncol felt like it set his throat and intestines on fire. His eyes were watering profusely, and he was ready to cough his insides out.

When the last drop was gone, and he lowered the glass back onto the counter, the bar exploded in cheering.

They all clapped and whistled, yelling congratulations words at Jason, who only waved and smiled, proud of his accomplishment.

After most of the noise had died out, he noticed something strange: He had felt nothing after the initial burning sensation in his guts.

He looked at the bartender questioningly, who only replied with a shrug: „It might take a while to kick in, depending on how long it takes for your stomach to start processing that stuff."

He only nodded, and stood up. He was about to walk out of the bar, when he turned back to the krogan, and asked: „Don't you want any credits?"

The bartender smiled.

„Nope. You downed that ryncol like a champion, only hesitating for a few seconds before. That's an accomplishment for a human. That drink is on the house."

He smiled back, and walked out of the bar.

* * *

With every passing moment, he increasingly thought that leaving the establishment was a terrible idea. The world was spinning around him, and he could barely walk.

He wiped an occasional trail of drool off his chin.

He had been staggering through Omega for a while now, with barely anyone in sight. He thought that most were asleep at this time, even though a consistent day-night cycle around here seemed a far-fetched idea for him.

Then he heard some noises. Noises that sounded suspiciously like talking.

He slowly stumbled towards the source, only to find two batarians trying to corner an asari.

„Come on, pretty. You know, I got a lot of credits, and a nice little apartment..."

Jason, even in his current state, understood perfectly, what the batarian was suggesting.

The other batarian grinned, and nodded.

The asari was not amused.

„I'm not interested in your... Proposition. Now leave me alone, before I splatter you on the ground."

The other batarian spoke up.

„Oh, look at that. The pretty thing has a mouth on her. We could help you put it to better use..."

Jason thought that this was a perfect opportunity to save a pretty lady from a bunch of asswipes. But even with his very few active brain cells left, he knew he couldn't aim for shit with his current pistol. So he decided to whistle.

„Hey, you two there! Leave her alone, ya' good-for-nothing varren fodder!"

The trio looked at him, surprise evident on their faces. Seeing the state Jason was in, the batarians started grinning again.

„Or what? You're going to kill us?" one of them asked mockingly.

Jason staggered forward. „I might as well, you son of a motherless vorcha!"

Then the batarian he was addressing started walking towards him angrily.

„Nobody talks about my mother that way, human," he said just before throwing a punch at Jason.

Jason tripped over a loose floor tile at the right moment, and fell over right under the batarian's swinging fist.

He stood back up as fast as he could, and right before the batarian kicked him with his foot, Jason pistol-whipped him across his face. The batarian staggered back, cupping his cheek, only to receive a punch from Jason.

Jason then shot the batarian in the gut. Before he could finish watching the alien slump to the ground, the other batarian he had forgotten about suddenly came up from behind him, and wrapped his arms around Jason's neck, and started squeezing.

He attempted to pistol-whip the batarian behind him, but ended up punching himself in the face. His face snapped back, only to accidentally headbutt the batarian. They both fell over with Jason on top of the batarian. The alien was coughing from the sudden blow to his front forcing all air to leave his lungs, and Jason saw it as the perfect time to push his arms off him.

He stood up as fast as he could, and shot the batarian, before the alien could also get up.

Jason just now noticed that the asari was clapping slowly.

„That was a very admirable feat you just achieved, especially for a human drunk on ryncol," she commented.

„How do you know I drunk ryncol?" he asked.

Then Jason could swear he saw her smelling him.

„The... Aroma... Gave it away."

He chuckled, and gave her the best answers his shitfaced brain could come up with „Well, you've got an admirable nose, lady. Anyways, glad to help you."

Jason pulled off a half-assed bow, before falling over.

He heard the asari chuckling, and saw her standing over him, her arm extended.

„Here, let me help you. It's the least I can do for you."

He graciously accepted the help, and got back up quickly.

Then he asked: „Who were those clowns anyways?"

„Oh, just some sex-starved morons following me ever since I left Afterlife," she answered with a smirk.

Jason only nodded, unable to think of anything else to say.

The awkward silence only lasted a few seconds though.

„Say, why don't you come over to my apartment. It's a nice place to crash after a day like this," the asari said, while gesturing towards the two dead batarians.

He only nodded.

„Yeah, sounds like a perfect idea. Let's go."

* * *

Jason was sitting on a leather couch, looking at the apartment's interior. It wasn't very spacious, with just one large room that was a living room, a bedroom and a kitchen all in one, with all the appropriate furniture. What made the apartment interesting, were all the strange things scattered all over the place. Weird pieces of art, swords, and tubes filled with stuff he was pretty sure were illegal anywhere outside the Terminus Systems.

He was having a hard time figuring stuff out by that time though, what with being drunk on ryncol and also a nice addition of Hallex.

He looked over to the asari, and felt some sort of pull towards her. She seemed like the most beautiful being to have ever existed. She seemed very satisfied with something.

After a while of simply sitting there in quiet, the asari suddenly pulled him into her arms. It felt nice, warm, he thought, and snuggled deeper into her arms. Just before falling asleep though, he asked: „What's your name?"

He could almost feel the asari's smile.

„Glad you asked. It's Morinth."

* * *

When she pushed the empty shell aside, Morinth started pondering. The human felt extreme amounts of euphoria from the meld, she knew that. But why, then, did he yell at her to choke on his brain juices right before he died?

* * *

**Here's another chapter of Arrivals In Effect!**

**The entire idea goes to Endrius, from the arrival on Omega, and the ryncol, up to the mindfuck by Morinth.**

**I hope you liked it! I enjoyed writing it ;)**

**Tell me what you think in the reviews, and if you want to, point out stuff I could improve on.**

**Have a nice day, and I'll see you in the next chapter!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Dinner Bell**

* * *

Paul was trudging through a desert. He was sweating profusely and his clothes were soaked.

His only aim was a small dot in the distance. He couldn't decide if it was his eyes playing tricks on him, or if there was something actually out there. Paul had also noticed that this desert smelled, and it was getting worse as he was getting closer to whatever that thing was in the distance.

He could swear he occasionally felt a rumble from under the sand somewhere.

* * *

Paul's hopes sky-rocketed when he got close enough for a good look at the object. It was actually multiple buildings. All of them looked like giant white cardboard boxes with windows. Some were stacked on each other.

But it also looked like this place had gone through hell. Some buildings were toppled over, others were in pieces, and most had half-dissolved walls. He kept moving forward.

* * *

Paul knew now where the smell had come from.

He was standing at the edge of a large, seemingly bottomless pit. There were houses surrounding it, and some even hanging from it's edge, occasionally creaking as if they were about to fall.

It reeked of something Paul couldn't even describe, and it made him gag.

He quickly stepped away and decided to check out some of the buildings around him.

Paul noted that most of the buildings had opened doors when he stepped in one of the houses.

He saw that the inside only had basic furniture. Couch, tables, a bed. It was one giant room with all the basic comforts for living.

What slightly unnerved him, was the half-eaten food on the floor. Whoever had been eating it had overturned the chair, and spilled the food everywhere.

He slowly came to a realisation that this was a civilian settlement. He thought that this was probably a recent colony of some sort, as it would explain the bland box houses. He figured that practicality over art in these kinds of places would serve you well.

What Paul couldn't figure out, was why everyone had abandoned their homes.

He decided to think on that later, and slowly stumbled towards an object he hoped would be a fridge.

When he opened it, he nearly fainted. There was a single water bottle in the fridge.

He grabbed it, opened the cork and started chugging the water frantically. Paul immediately started coughing and sputtering. Half of the water was now on the floor.

He looked at it for a minute, then sighed, shook his head and cursed his idiocy.

He threw the water bottle away and walked outside. The sun's searing heat forced him back into the house.

Paul decided to sleep instead, and flopped down on the bed.

* * *

He woke up to a distant rumbling noise. He got up, and walked outside.

Paul noticed that the sun was slowly setting already. Then he saw the source of the rumbling: a bunch of vehicles heading towards the settlement from the same direction he came from.

When the vehicles got closer he saw that they all had large cannons mounted on them and looked suspiciously similar to the M29 Grizzly from Mass Effect.

Paul was a bit frightened of these facts, and decided to hide in the house to see what the newcomers want from there.

He was crouching behind the bed, listening for any sounds.

Soon enough, the vehicles stopped nearby. Afterwards he heard numerous footsteps and talking.

"Alright everyone, teams of five! Spread out, search the buildings for survivors!" a voice called out.

Paul heard quite a few "Yes, sir's" from outside. Then he started thinking on what their apparent leader had said. He figured that if they're looking for survivors, he shouldn't be in much danger.

* * *

His confidence disappeared when five armed and fully armored men found him.

One of them pointed his weapon at Paul in surprise. He went into panic.

"Oh Holy shit, don't shoot me, don't shoot me! I didn't do anything to this colony, it was like this when I got here!"

Then he ran towards a window and jumped out in an attempt to escape the 'crazed humans'.

* * *

It only served to cause him even more trouble, as running from military is generally seen as a suspicious activity.

So there he was, kneeling in front of those people, with his hands behind his head.

One of them, a woman, was apparently their appointed interrogator, because she started asking questions.

"Who are you?" the lady asked him in an extremely stern voice.

"My name's Paul," he mumbled quietly.

Then the woman leaned closer to him, and spoke right into his ear: "I'm sorry? I couldn't quite hear you. What. Is. Your. _Name_?"

"It's Paul! And I swear I have no idea what the hell happened here! I got here just a few hours ago myself, looking for water. Then you people showed up, and one of you shoved a gun right into my _face_! Of course I fucking ran!" His words were getting more frantic by the second.

The lady stepped back, and looked at her companions.

"Okay, which one of you morons scared our only possible witness on this?"

A man spoke up: "He was hiding behind a bed, and when I saw him, I just reacted, ma'am!"

She sighed. "Alright... Try not to do that next time we get into a situation like this. Am I understood?"

Her subordinate couldn't answer though, because another voice cut in: "Corporal Shepard, Toombs! You might wanna come over here, there's something you're going to want to see!"

"Alright, I'm heading over there! Keep an eye on this kid. Don't let him run away. He might be able to tell us what went on over here," Shepard ordered the other soldiers.

Paul looked at Shepard in complete surprise for a second, and then towards the hole in the middle of the colony. Then something clicked in his head.

"Oh... Shit... Oooooh _shit_!" Paul got up slowly while shaking his head in denial.

"What is it pal, constipation?" one of the men guarding him asked.

Paul was not able to talk anymore. He was in too much of a shock by then.

The soldiers were starting to get slightly concerned.

"Uh'... Corporals? The civilian is getting... Agitated."

Paul spoke up with a voice of pure fear: "If she's near a big-ass hole at the center of the colony... tell Shepard that a Thresher Maw made it."

The soldiers suddenly looked extremely uncomfortable, and one of them asked Paul: "Wait, what the fuck do you mean _Thresher Maw_? Those giant worms the krogans keep talking about?!"

"That's _exactly_ what I'm talking about!" Paul responded in an agitated voice.

A soldier took off his helmet and threw it on the ground. "Oh shit, oh shit! What are we gonna do now? There are no civilians except for _this_ clown here, we've got a giant worm crawling somewhere right _under_ us right now... We need to get the hell out of here!"

Paul cut off his ranting. "I got more news... There may be more than one."

He could see all of their eyes going wide. One of them touched the side of his helmet.

"Ma'am? Sirs? Did you hear all that?" He nodded a few seconds later.

"Okay... What are your orders?"

"Are you sure?"

The soldier looked up at the others dramatically.

"We're staying here. They say they need time to confirm that it was in fact Thresher Maws."

"Are they fucking nuts? We stay here, we get _eaten_," Paul hissed at him.

"Pal, if that's their orders, that's their orders! We're staying right here until our superiors say otherwise."

Paul shook his head, and was about to run towards the pit to yell at Shepard, when he felt a distinct rumbling.

Before anyone could comment on it, a building got smashed from the inside as a Thresher Maw rose out of the ground.

They all gaped at it in pure awe.

One soldier managed to speak up: "Holy... Shit... It's bigger than I thought."

They heard more rumbling, and another, much bigger Thresher Maw rose out of the already existing hole.

Most of the teams had managed to make it back to the vehicles by now, but it also meant that they were all bunched up together.

Shepard and Toombs ran back to the Grizzlies, only to notice that Paul was missing.

They didn't have time to question it, as the Maws were done inspecting their food, and started claiming it.

The two Thresher Maws shot a glob of acid at the vehicles to prevent any soldiers from getting into them.

But before They could start killing the humans themselves, one of the Grizzlies suddenly opened fire on the smaller Maw.

* * *

What nobody knew, was that Paul was inside it.

"Yeah, motherfucker! Take _that_!"

He was about to press the trigger again, when the Grizzly suddenly lurched. He felt the vehicle being lifted into the air, and his heart was suddenly filled with dread.

* * *

"Anybody know who the fuck is driving that?!" a soldier managed to ask while they were all shooting at the closest Thresher Maw.

"No idea! Let's just use the poor idiot's distraction to get the hell out of here!" Shepard responded.

Everyone agreed with it, and got into whatever vehicles they had left.

Right before Shepard got into her own vehicle, she noticed that the two Thresher Maws were fighting over that Grizzly. It got sheared in half, and a figure dropped out, yelling:

"Sheeeeepaaaaaaaaaaaaaaard!" right before it hit the ground.

Shepard saw immediately that it was the civilian.

She ran over to him and tried to lift him up.

He only responded to that in a weak voice: "You all were gonna run when I did that, weren't you... Commander Shepard, the great Alliance _hero_... My... Fat... Hairy... Ass..."

Shepard heard Toombs yell: "Shepard, we need to go NOW!"

She looked up, and saw that the Maws had realised that there was no one inside the mangled Grizzly anymore. They spat their respective pieces out and looked at her. She dropped Paul and ran.

The Grizzlies all drove away from the colony at full speed, while the smaller Maw attempted to eat Paul.

But suddenly the larger one slammed into the smaller one and it fell right on top of Paul with all of it's body weight.

It took both of them over half an hour of snuffing the ground to come to the conclusion that their food is gone.

* * *

**Yet another chapter of Arrivals In Effect!**

**Credits: Chaszcz for the idea.**

**Tell me what you think, people, and I'll see you in the next chapter!**

**Oh, and if you notice some weird updates with this, it's because I fixed some more errors I found in the previous chapters.**


	10. Chapter 10

**Garry The Plaything**

* * *

Mary was sitting on a bench in the Presidium. She had a dreamy expression, and was staring a turian with blue face markings.

Said turian was dealing with what appeared to be a fight between another turian and a human. After he was done kicking them off the Presidium, he kept moving on his patrol route.

Mary followed.

After Mary had arrived on the Presidium without any discernible reason or warning a few months ago, she immediately knew, that she needed an income in order to survive.

She had used her natural charms and correctly applied biotics to seduce some random company's human CEO to become his secretary, and then managed to convince another one to do her job for her.

Everyone loved having her around, and no one ever said anything bad to her. Not even the aliens.

Until she met her favorite turian ever, Garrus Vakarian. She had always wondered what he would be like in a relationship, but he hadn't even cared. Mary tried everything. She flirted, bought him a drink, even pulled him into an alley and attempted to straddle him.

Garrus brushed off all of her attempts.

Now she had been following him around for a few months. Most would call her a crazed stalker. She preferred secret admirer.

Mary had more reason to follow him other than to simply enjoy the eye-candy. She had been memorizing his patrol routes, his times off the job and the times he's usually at home alone.

Then she went to the extra-net, and searched for information on turian biology. Every detail of their bodies.

She was waiting until Garrus' patrol route took him to a more secluded area, where she would make her move.

* * *

Garrus entered an empty alley on the Presidium. He was pondering on that crazy woman who had troubled him in very strange ways long ago. He looked up humans on the extranet, and after comparing different things, he realised that the woman who tried to sexually abuse him had what humans would call ridiculous body proportions.

To the average human male, she was perfect. Blonde hair, deep blue eyes, and 'extra-juicy' body parts.

He heard footsteps quickly coming closer to him from behind. He turned around, only to see that same woman he was thinking of right before she jabbed a syringe into his exposed neck area.

Garrus immediately pulled the syringe out and punched the woman straight in the jaw. Then he pushed her to the ground, and started to cuff her.

"You are under arrest for assaulting a C-Sec officer! Everything that... That..."

Garrus' vision was getting blurry. His limbs suddenly felt like they were made of lead.

* * *

Garrus slumped right on top of Mary. She used her biotics to push Garrus off her.

Mary stood up, rubbed her jaw and took a look at the now sleeping turian. Then she lifted him up, and started walking towards his apartment.

* * *

On her way back to Garrus' home, almost nobody paid attention to the strange duo. The ones that did only muttered "Lucky turian," and moved on.

Garrus was starting to stir. She noted that he was made of tougher stuff than most, if her extranet research was anything to go by.

Mary quickened her pace, hoping to get ready before he woke up.

* * *

Garrus groggily opened his eyes. He looked around, and was surprised to be back in his own apartment. His surprise soon turned to panic.

He was naked and his limbs were tied down to his own bed with what looked like red-colored tape.

He tried to yell for help, but very quickly realised the fluffy thing in his mouth was a gag. Garrus proceeded to trash around with his limbs in hopes of breaking free.

It only seemed to bring unwanted attention to him.

"Oh, Gaaarrryyyyy," somebody purred from outside the bedroom.

Garrus suddenly stopped, not allowing any of his muscles to even twitch.

He looked at the doorway, and saw the crazy woman from earlier walk in, also completely naked.

He tried to yell out, "What the hell are you playing at," but only muffled screams came.

She proceeded to crawl on top of him, deliberately swaying her hips. Soon, she was lying on him, smiling mischievously.

"I decided to make sure you enjoyed every second of our time together, and I hope you noticed that I tied you down with your most favorite thing: Red tape," she whispered into his ear.

Garrus' horror only grew when she finally began doing what she had intended to do to him.

* * *

Mary noticed a slight pain in various parts halfway through their 'happy-fun-times', like her mouth after forcefully kissing him, but dismissed it as simple chafing due to the turian's natural rough plating, and applied more lotion to the appropriate areas.

* * *

Mary was putting her clothes back on. She heard muffled voices, and looked at Garrus. Noticing the distress on his face, she smiled at him.

"Don't worry, sweetheart. I paged one of your contacts on your Omni-tool to meet you here as fast as possible."

She was about to walk out, when she suddenly turned around, winked at Garrus and told him: "That was amazing. You can expect another round soon."

Mary then opened the bedroom door, but suddenly stopped due to a strong pain in her abdomen that came out of nowhere.

* * *

Garrus watched in confusion as she doubled over and used a wall as support. Then he dreaded the cleaning up he'd have to do after she suddenly puked all over the floor.

'The crazy bitch', as Garrus had come to call her, was now seemingly trying to puke and cough at the same time.

He slowly put the pieces together came to the conclusion that she must have swallowed some of his fluids during their horrifying time together.

He was watching with slight satisfaction as the woman slumped down on the floor.

Then the door opened.

Garrus instantly recognised his co-worker from C-Sec, a very good turian friend.

He stared at Garrus, not one of his face plates or mandibles twitching. Neither of them dared to move.

They both heard a gurgling noise, and slowly turned their heads look at the human.

The turian crouched to check her pulse. Then he stood up, and looked at Garrus with a completely straight face. Then the turian opened his Omni-tool, and Garrus saw him calling over 20 of his contacts.

Garrus realised what he was doing, and starting frantically shaking his head in pure panic.

All of them answered the call.

"Hey guys. Come over to Garrus' apartment. There's something here you're going to want to see."

* * *

**This is the 10-th chapter in Arrivals In Effect! Thank you for all the favorites, follows and reviews I've gotten so far!**

**Credits: Herr Wozzeck for this crazy idea!**

**I hope you all liked this Chapter! Give me a review if any of you were disturbed by something in this hapter, and I'll try avoid such things in the future ones.**

**I will you in the next Chapter!**


	11. Chapter 11

**The Flytrap**

* * *

Gary was sitting on a chair in one of the disassembled freighters looking out of a window as a rather strange group consisting of a human, a krogan and a turian walked past. He was sipping the best-quality beer the Feros colonists could afford.

He got the beer as a gift from the colonists for all his contributions to them.

Gary knew it was a well-deserved beer. After all, he had trudged through the ancient prothean tunnels to reactivate their water pump system, turn off the geth transmitter and then kill a pack of varren for food.

The last one had been fun for him. After he had killed most of the varren with his assault rifle, he wrestled the Alpha varren with his bare hands.

Gary didn't even get a scratch while the Alpha varren's neck wasn't exactly in the best condition anymore.

He smiled at the memory.

He drank the last drop, put the bottle down and got to work.

He knew that it was Shepard, Garrus and Wrex who walked past the window earlier. He also knew that very soon, the colonists will go absolutely apeshit.

* * *

Gary was staring out of the window, and noticed something strange.

Suddenly, all the colonists grabbed their weapons, and some were heading towards the large room Normandy had landed in. No one showed any emotion on their faces.

He stood up, his face grim, and went to the door.

He whistled. A man walked in, and Gary slammed his fist in the man's face. Gary proceeded to drag his unconscious body to a corner.

He walked back to the door, and whistled.

* * *

Shepard stopped the MAKO in front of the closed garage door leading to the colony. There was something placed next to it.

Shepard, Garrus and Wrex got out of the MAKO, their weapons in hand in case something happens.

"What the hell is that thing supposed to be?" Wrex asked with a frown on his face.

"No idea, but it looks... Humanoid," Garrus added.

"For me, it looks like a green Husk," Shepard added with a joking tone.

Wrex stepped closer to the object in question, and nudged it with his shotgun barrel.

That got it moving. It slowly rose up from it's huddled position until it was standing upright, slightly swaying and emitting low moans from it's gaping mouth.

"Shepard... Got something to add?" Garrus asked nervously, going into his usual combat stance and aiming his assault rifle at it.

Then it looked straight at Garrus, and they all decided to back away from the creepy green Husk.

That decision came too late, because the creature suddenly projectile-vomited at Garrus. He frantically rolled out of the way, and Wrex blew the upper-half of it's body into mush with his shotgun.

Now that it was dead, Shepard stepped past it's legs and slammed the garage door button. Nothing happened.

With a frustrated look on her face, she slammed the button a bit more forcefully.

The door remained closed.

Suddenly, Wrex walked past her and punched the button. The button was now inside the wall and all Wrex could do was give an apologetic look for the now furious Shepard.

She was about to chew him out for doing that, when Garrus suddenly spoke up.

"Hey, Shepard. You hear that? Sounds like it's coming from the other side." Now Shepard and Wrex listened too.

They heard weapons fire, a few explosions and a lot of moaning.

Then something suddenly dented the garage door by slamming into it.

They all had their weapons up in an instant.

Then something slammed into the door again.

* * *

Gary, after 'sedating' every single colonist with a healthy dose of fist-to-the-face, went to the MAKO garage and started bludgeoning the dozens of Thorian Creepers that resided there.

He started out with a bang by throwing three grenades at the creepers. Half of them got instantly shredded, blown to pieces, vaporised or incinerated. He took out his assault rifle and started spraying into the crowd that was now slowly lumbering towards him.

Gary noted that the assault rifle rounds only went straight through the creatures, and left small extra holes in them. He prioritised, taking down the closest with long bursts to the legs and then head. Gary took down a dozen of the creepers with this tactic, before the first one got within puking distance.

He whipped out a shotgun he borrowed from a colonist, and blew it to pieces.

Gary then threw his last grenade with one hand while blowing away another thorian creeper with his shotgun. The grenade ended most of whatever was left of the horde, and now only one creeper was left, slowly coming towards Gary.

He grabbed it by the neck, and ran towards the garage door. He slammed it into the door. A small dent appeared. Gary slammed the creeper in it again. Half of it was sticking to the door by now.

He let it go, but it was still standing somehow. He kicked it with his leg. The dent got larger.

He was about to shoot it with his shotgun, when suddenly the garage door exploded, sending Gary flying across the garage.

He quickly stood back up, and saw a MAKO driving into the large room. He smiled, knowing exactly who it was, and made his way towards the vehicle.

Gary, believing entirely in his own abilities, forgot that he was walking towards a MAKO with a nervous but experienced Shepard in it, while he was still holding the shotgun in his hands.

He didn't hear the creeper following him.

The only warning sign he got, was the sudden movement of the cannon barrel, right before a round splattered him along with the creeper across the wall.

* * *

Later Shepard's team found the room where Gary had knocked out every single colonist.

Shepard could only sheepishly rub her neck. Garrus glared at her and Wrex cursed at her for vaporising their potential meat-shield.

* * *

**Another chapter done in Arrivals In Effect! I hope you enjoyed it! If you people have any problems with this chapter, or the fic in general, don't be afraid to review!  
**

**I will see you people in the next chapter!**


	12. Chapter 12

**Flight Of The** **Tentacles**

* * *

Shepard was standing in one of the disassembled freighters on Feros with Garrus and Wrex.

They had been looking at a rather large pile of unconscious colonists for a while.

Shepard hadn't forgotten about the about the Thorian though, and motioned for her team to keep moving.

When they were about to walk out of the room, they heard rustling behind them. In the blink of an eye, the entire team had turned around and their weapons trained on a lone standing human.

The man was slightly chubby. He had blonde hair and dark brown eyes. Unlike all the other colonists, this man was wearing extremely outdated jeans and a T-Shirt.

* * *

Bob woke up under something heavy. He cursed whoever the asshole was that punched him in his face, and opened his eyes. He was right under a pile of unconscious humans.

"Just my goddamn luck," he commented. Then he wiggled out from under the knocked out people, stood up, and quickly wiped some dust off his clothes.

Bob heard something in front of him, and looked up only to see Shepard, Garrus and Wrex. They were aiming their weapons at him.

"Hands up, no sudden movements and we will not shoot," Shepard said calmly.

He instantly had his arms up in the air. Bob started babbling.

"Holy shit, Shepard, don't shoot me! I was just walking around in this colony, and heard a whistle! I came into this room, saw no one, but then suddenly some asshole comes out of nowhere and punches me in the face!"

Then Garrus cut in.

"Calm down. If you're friendly, we're not going to shoot you."

"Yeah, we can always use a meat-shield," Wrex added with amusement.

Bob frowned.

"Wait, what? _No_, Wrex! Isn't it enough that I got va..." "Enough, people! Now, what is your name?" Shepard cut him off with frustration.

"My name is Bob. I just got here a few hours ago only to be knocked out by some raging psychopath!"

"You can lower your arms at any time, by the way," Garrus said with an amused voice.

Bob slowly lowered his arms.

"Wait, you said you got knocked out by some raging psychopath?" Shepard asked.

Then Bob started yelling while making exaggerated hand gestures.

"Yeah, he just whistled and waited for me to walk in! Then he just punched me in the face! Where is he anyways, I wanna kill that motherfucker!"

"Calm down Bob," Shepard said soothingly. "That 'motherfucker' saved the entire colony. Thanks to all of them being knocked out here, none of those green Husk thingies found them."

Bob's mouth dropped open.

"Wait... So that guy..."

"Yep," said Garrus.

"If it wasn't for him, you would all be dead right now. Or worse, slaves to some plant living right under this colony."

That wasn't what astonished Bob, though. He was surprised by the fact that another 'Dimension Traveler' had saved every single colonist by delivering free sleep pills to everyone.

"Oh... Yeah, well alright then."

Shepard's team was about to walk out, when Bob suddenly called out.

"Shepard, I want to come with you! I'd like nothing more than to see that... Whatever it is, get killed!"

The team regarded him for a moment, and then Shepard spoke up: "You plan on going on some sort of revenge trip?"

"I guess... You could call it that."

Then Wrex spoke up.

"Shepard, sometimes nothing is better than a raging pyjack getting revenge for others fucking up his home. I say we take him with us."

When Shepard looked at Garrus, he only shrugged.

She looked at Bob again, and sighed.

"Alright. If you come with us, then I expect you to follow my orders to the letter. If you see an opportunity to take out an enemy, take it. But _no heroics_. Am I understood?"

Bob nodded frantically, unable to wait until they reach the Thorian.

They were about to move out, when suddenly Shepard turned around, lifted him up and slammed Bob into a wall, keeping him pinned.

"Now, how the fuck do you know our names?"

Bob shrugged in fear.

"I heard you talking to each other when you walked through the colony the first time."

Shepard stared at him for some time, but seemed to accept that answer at the moment, and let him go.

"Wrex, got any spare weapons?"

Wrex looked at Bob for a moment, and said: "Yep. Might have a few. Here kid, a pistol and a few grenades. This should keep you alive long enough to get in, kill the plant and get out."

Bob only nodded, and cocked his new pistol in what must have seemed like a bad ass move.

"Let's move."

Shepard didn't even find the decency to comment on it, and simply facepalmed.

* * *

They were walking down an extremely smelly stairwell. Parts of it was covered in pinkish vines and some strange green substance, as Bob found out very soon... By tripping and falling into a puddle. He was now trying to scrub the sticky stuff off with his arms.

"Jesus Christ... What the hell _is_ this shit?"

Wrex was only irritated by his antics.

"Pyjack, the entire time you've been talking and screwing around, someone could have staged a nice little surprise for us at least a dozen times by now!"

Bob instantly quieted down.

Wrex seemed satisfied.

"Good. Now remember pyjack, all you need to do is be a meat-shield for us when we finally find this plant... Plant... Thing..."

The entire team was now looking at a giant creature hanging off the walls by some large tendrils.

Wrex nudged Shepard.

"Are you sure this is a _plant_ of all things, Shepard?"

She didn't get to answer though, because suddenly the plant puked.

A green naked asari covered in fluids was now kneeling right under the creature. She suddenly stood up, slightly wobbling on her feet.

Then the asari spoke.

* * *

Bob wasn't paying attention to the dialogue going on between Shepard and the Thorian, but was sneaking past the Creepers on the upper floors already. He was planning on planting his grenade on the upper-most tendril the moment the fighting started.

Bob decided to take a look at Shepard and saw her talking a few floors down. Suddenly the asari attacked, but didn't get much of a chance, because Wrex simply kicked her off the platform they were standing on.

Suddenly, he heard moaning behind him. Bob turned around, only to see dozens of creepers slowly lumber towards him. He frantically threw his grenade at the tendril, blowing it to pieces. What he didn't account for, were the Thorian Creepers.

The grenade exploded right when one of them was about to puke on him. It stumbled towards Bob, accidentally pushing him off the railing.

He was screaming at the top of his lungs as he fell right on top of the Thorian. He noticed his new opportunity, and slowly crawled towards it's head section.

Bob stood up when he arrived at his destination, took out his pistol and started shooting the Thorian at the back of it's 'head'.

When it had a big enough hole to fit grenades in it, he stuck all of the remaining grenades in, and was about to jump down onto the platform, when the Thorian suddenly started shaking in an attempt to get Bob off it's back.

He slipped, and fell into the abyss below.

The thorian's head exploded.

Bob fell hundreds of meters, before finally diving into a large pool of water. All air was instantly pushed out of his lungs, and a lot of his bones were broken. He was about to swim out of the water, when suddenly one of the Thorian's tentacles slapped him in the face with enough force to knock him out.

He didn't wake up in time to save himself from drowning.

* * *

Shepard, Garrus and Wrex were standing on the platform, staring at each other. They were all completely covered in whatever the Thorian was made of.

They looked at the Thorian, and noticed that half of it's insides were hanging out of it's body.

Then Wrex looked Shepard straight in the eye.

"Told you he'd make a good meat-shield."

* * *

**I hope you people like how I handled Feros!**

**I plan on having at least 2 chapters for each Main Mission. At least... That's the plan. We'll see how this goes.**

**I will see you all in the next chapter!**


	13. Chapter 13

**Failing for The Empire**

* * *

Jason was in a ruined city. Everything was covered in ash, and even more of it was slowly raining down. The sky was almost completely blanketed by pitch-black clouds, and the only way he could see at all was the sun shining at the edge of the horizon. The city itself was rubble, with nothing but a few skyscrapers still standing upright in the distance.

He was staring warily at a four-eyed alien, who resembled an insect. It was yelling and waving it's arms in frustration.

The alien had given him a weapon. A weapon he thought he had seen somewhere before, but couldn't quite put his finger on it. The weapon was grey in appearance, and most of it looked like a bunch of flat panels attached together on each others sides. It also had a dim green glow emanating from inside.

Jason decided to convey his problem through body language, and started waving his own arms. Unfortunately, the weapon was still in his hands, and the alien suddenly ran towards him.

Before Jason could react, it had tackled him to the ground. Then it stood up, ripped the weapon out of his hands, and started showing certain things on the weapon with its fingers. Then it aimed at one of the distant skyscrapers and pressed what Jason assumed was the trigger. A bright green beam shot out.

Jason only got to yell „Holy shit!" before the alien shoved the gun back into his hands.

Now he put the pieces together. These aliens were Protheans, and this was one of their cities.

They were trying to fight the Reapers.

He was 50 000 years in the past.

Jason realised how screwed they all are, and started laughing maniacally.

All the protheans turned to look at him with strange expressions. He immediately remembered about indoctrination, and in hopes of avoiding vaporisation, stopped laughing instantly, and stood up.

Who he assumed to be the leader of these protheans, simply shrugged after a while and motioned him to get behind a wall, that had somehow survived the destruction of whatever building used to stand there.

He sat down behind the wall, and looked off into the distance.

A few minutes later he saw a Reaper land in the middle of the city, destroying a skyscraper in the process.

Luckily, it was slowly lumbering away from them, probably seeing something more important than a small group of survivors.

* * *

After a couple of hours of sleeping, a Prothean shook Jason awake. He groggily opened his eyes, and saw the alien pointing towards the city.

Jason widened his eyes when he saw what was coming towards them.

It was an entire swarm of creatures coming their way.

They looked like Protheans, but had much larger heads than protheans, and they also had wings.

Jason realised that the Collectors had been created by the Reapers during the fall of the Prothean empire, not after.

He was about to raise his weapon, when he heard the Reaper signature voice right above him.

He didn't even get to look up when suddenly a Destroyer slammed down on them.

* * *

**Credits: Chaszcz for the idea.**

**Damn, this one took long.**

**Well, not the writing itself, but getting the willpower to write it. I did some thinking on it, and realised that the reason updates got so slow, was because I was intentionally making the chapters longer. I struggled with it. Now I'm trying a different approach. I'm going to write what I feel like is important to make the chapters amusing and entertaining for you guys to read, not forcing myself to make them longer.**

**Tell me if you don't like short chapters like this, and I'll see what I can do about it!  
**

**But in the meantime, I will see you in the next chapter!**

**BTW, new one coming up very soon. Got an awesome idea, and my fingers are itching to write it.  
**


	14. Chapter 14

**The Ultimate Probing Experience**

* * *

John was completely still, listening for any sort of movement around him.

After a few minutes of almost painfully lying still, he was satisfied, and sat up. He immediately noticed that he was in an N7 armor for whatever reason.

He looked around, and noticed he was in a cave of some kind. A single industrial light was in a corner, lighting the place. There was a large metal door built into one of the cave walls.

He assumed it was an airtight door and by extension also served as an airlock, so he decided not to open it anytime soon.

He looked around a bit more, and saw a large metal object in a dim corner. He started walking towards it.

_"W__arning, radiation levels reaching dangerous levels,"_ the armor's VI suddenly said.

He jumped because of the sudden noise, and grumbled something about setting up warning posters on the armor about loud robots.

He approached the object, and noted that it looked like a probe. It had scorch marks all over it, and a few dents. John suddenly got suspicious, because the chances of a probe falling into a cave without blowing up the roof aren't exactly high.

He crouched, and started removing one of its panels.

Suddenly, a hologram appeared from the probe.

John backed away from it, and saw that it formed a humanoid shape. It was hard to make out exactly who or what it was though.

Then it spoke.

"It's a pleasure to finally meet you, Shep... Wait, you aren't Shepard! Shit, abort, ABORT!"

* * *

Jane Shepard just finished marking a large deposit of Samarium with Kaidan on the planet Agebinium. It was a rocky, irradiated planet without atmosphere. It's surface was red, but only because of the red giant star shining it's light on it.

Suddenly, a bright flash of light appeared on the planet itself in the distance.

She shielded her eyes quickly.

After a few seconds, the light got dimmer, and Kaidan nudged her.

She looked towards it, and saw a mountain getting blown apart. Pieces of it were flying everywhere.

"Shepard... Is that the Probe?"

Shepard looked at Kaidan.

"Hackett is going to have my ass for this."

* * *

**I told you I'd have another one up soon. I hope these chapters don't get too short.**

**I'll see you in the next chapter soon!**


	15. Chapter 15

**Angry Footballs And The Camera of Death**

* * *

Bob was walking around on the Citadel, in one of the more secluded parts of the Zakera ward. He had no idea what to do, where to go, or where he even was. He was pretty sure that the place would be covered in trash if it wasn't for the Keepers cleaning house all the time.

Bob was pretty sure he had been walking in circles for hours, and everywhere around him he kept seeing volus in white enviro-suits covered in dirt, and who knows what else.

He had also seen another human around here quite often, too. He also seemed to be wandering around aimlessly.

As far as Bob could make out, he had a slightly muscled body. The man had blonde hair, a crooked nose and blue eyes.

He walked around a corner, and very nearly walked right into that same guy.

"Whoah, man, watch where you're going!" the man exclaimed, holding up his hands.

"Sorry. Hey, I've seen you a few times down here. You lost, too?" Bob asked.

"Wait, you're lost here too?"

"Yep."

The other guy then rubbed his forehead and seemed to be pondering on something.

"Well, alright then," he suddenly said, looking at Bob. Then he held up his arm. "My name is Jason. What's yours?"

Bob took the hand and shook it. "My name's Bob. Nice to meet you."

They started walking together.

"Now, how did you get lost down here?" Jason asked.

"I just," Bob trailed off for a moment. "I just woke up around here! No idea how I got here, either!" he exclaimed, waving his arms around.

"What the fuck? You're saying you just woke up here?" Jason asked, staring at Bob with an incredulous expression.

"You got here the same way I did? This is," he gulped, "weird, to say the least."

"Do you think someone is screwing with us?" Bob asked right before bumping into a volus.

Bob and Jason jumped back, and Bob started apologising frantically.

"Oh hell, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to do that!"

The volus only looked up at him for a moment, then turned around, and yelled. "Hey! These humans are racist against the Vol clan!"

Jason frowned. "Wait, what the fuck? We don't hate the volus, it was an accident!"

The little guy didn't pay attention however, and only yelled with a maniacal undertone in his voice: "Let's get the bastards!"

Suddenly, dozens of volus ran out from buildings all around them, pistols in their hands.

Bob and Jason ran like hell.

* * *

Thankfully, the little balls were quite slow. That meant Bob and Jason could occasionally take a quick breather behind a corner or a bunch of crates.

They were attempting to reach the C-Sec headquarters.

Soon Jason and Bob reached a stairwell that went downwards. They jumped down. Jason was about to run, when he heard a pained cry behind him. He looked back, and saw that Bob was rolling around on the ground, holding his ankle.

"Fuck me, man! Can you get me up?!" Bob yelled at Jason, growing more fearful every second.

Jason was just about to help him, when he noticed the volus were standing on top of the stairwell, staring at them. They had holstered their weapons.

Jason grabbed Bob and helped him up on his good foot.

Then who appeared to be the lead volus, suddenly pointed his finger at the two humans, and spoke. "You have insulted our clan name by being inside our territory, and dirtying my pristine enviro-suit with your filth, Earth-clan!"

Bob and Jason frowned.

"Wait, so this is just some fucked up revenge trip?" Bob asked Jason, his voice shaking.

"Fucking looks like it," Jason answered.

Then they noticed that all the volus were standing perfectly in a line upstairs. Then they knew the little bastards were up to something.

Then Bob nudged Jason. "Look, let me go. We can't get away from these over-grown footballs like this. I can handle the pain long enough to run to C-Sec, okay?"

Jason looked at Bob for a second in hesitation. Then he shrugged, and let Bob go. "Alright, then. Your funeral. Every man for himself!" he yelled before high-tailing it.

Bob was about to follow, when he stepped on his bad leg and fell over. Bob looked towards the volus, and saw them tucking themselves up into balls. Suddenly the entire clan literally rolled down the stairs, using their bodies to their advantage. Bob didn't even get to stand up, as one of them went right over his body, crushing his spine and skull.

* * *

Jason had been running for a full minute, before he looked back, only to see the volus following him.

He frantically ran around a corner, and saw the large sign that welcomed him to C-Sec headquarters.

He did a quick fist-pump and ran inside. The volus came in, not far behind him.

The C-Sec officers were looking at them strangely. Most of them saw the guns and reached for their own weapons.

Jason was making a bee-line straight for an elevator. He ran past a red-haired woman in an N7 uniform being questioned by some reporter with a flying drone camera.

Suddenly, one of the volus tried to shoot Jason, but hit the drone instead. It blew up, sending shrapnel flying in Jason's direction. More than a few shards got lodged in his brain.

He slumped over, only a few meters from the elevator.

"You bastards! My camera!"

"Sucks to be you, Khalisah!" the red-haired woman yelled before pulling out her weapon and running away to help the officers arrest the volus gang.

* * *

**Another chapter done! Sorry for this one taking so long. I also realised that with the last two chapters, I was nothing but a lazy prick! I promise, it will NOT happen again!**

**Oh, by the way, sorry for the slow updates! I suddenly got a shitton of literature homework dropped on me. Reading books, writing essays, homework, you name it! Updates will PROBABLY be slow for the next month or so.**

**But that won't stop this story. I will see you in the next Chapter!**


	16. Chapter 16

**Cosmetic Surgery**

* * *

Paul was walking with Commander Shepard on a snow-covered catwalk. Even Tali in her suit was shivering.

The only one not visibly affected by the cold was Urdnot Wrex.

They only got to walk a few dozen meters, before they were stopped by a bunch of armed guards.

Their leader, a woman, motioned for them to stop, and spoke.

„That's far enough. Your ship was not scheduled to land here. Who are you?"

"Commander Jane Shepard, a Council spectre," Shepard answered.

"We will have to verify that," the woman said, "But until then, you'll have to relinquish your weapons."

Shepard's team had their weapons up and aimed at the guards almost instantly. They raised their own guns as fast as they could.

"Good!" Wrex exclaimed, "My blood has been freezing out here. Finally, something to kill!"

One of the guards, a blonde haired woman, only scowled and tightened her finger on the trigger.

"Careful, Wrex," Paul mock chastised. "If you eat them in public, you'll scare off all the businesspeople."

Suddenly, the intercoms blared.

"_Captain Matsuo, stand down! We have confirmed Shepard's identity! Spectres are allowed to carry weapons here!"_

Everyone took it as a signal to lower their weapons, albeit rather warily.

Captain Matsuo bowed her head slightly.

"You may proceed, Spectre. I hope the rest of your visit will be less confrontational."

"Behave yourselves," the blonde woman added with venom in her voice.

Wrex only responded with a low growl before moving towards the facility.

* * *

After searching for about half an hour, Shepard's team finally found Administrator Anoleis' office.

Only to be denied entry.

"_I can't be bothered to entertain some primate from Earth who thinks she's above the law,"_ he said over the intercom.

Gianna Parasini, his assistant, only gave them an apologetic shrug.

Shepard was only angered.

"Look, administrator. I am a Spectre. If you don't let me in now, I can and will use my status to bring down a shitstorm of the likes you've never seen. If the council finds out you've been nothing but an obstruction in an investigation to bring down a rogue Spectre…" she trailed off to let Anoleis to finish the thought.

A sigh could be heard over the intercom.

"_Fine. Fine! Come in, but don't expect any favours from me!"_

Shepard grinned.

"Stay here, I'm going to have a little talk with that salarian."

Then she walked into Anoleis' office.

"Wouldn't want to be Anoleis right now," Paul said after she was gone.

"I hope he gets eaten," Wrex said, seemingly bored at the moment.

Everyone suddenly stared at him. Parasini's horror was barely concealed, Tali took a tiny step away from him, and Paul was doing his best not to start giggling.

"What is your fascination with eating other people, Wrex?" Tali asked with a frustrated voice. "So far you've wanted to eat everyone who anger or frustrate you somehow."

Wrex only shrugged at that. "If you're hungry, why not? Not like you're gonna' miss them, and it's not cannibalism either. I don't see the big deal."

Paul couldn't take it anymore. He leaned against a wall for support while breaking down into a giggling mess.

Tali couldn't respond to that however, because they suddenly heard a loud slam followed by a raging red-haired woman.

"That good-for-nothing varren fodder! The piece of shit didn't give me a garage pass!"

She looked at her team, and motioned for them to follow.

"Come with me. We're going to break into the fucking garage. If Noveria's got problems with that, they can send the council a fucking bill for damages later!"

She was stopped by Parasini, who jumped up from her chair and ran in front of the Commander.

"Wait, I have a better idea. Instead of you blowing up all the doors leading to the Garage, and the garage itself, how about we work out a deal. Meet me in the Hotel Restaurant." She then scurried away.

Shepard only looked back at her team, who were slightly intimidated by her earlier yelling, and gave them a shrug, before following Parasini to the restaurant.

* * *

After some talking and shoving away the occasional snotty company official, they were inside an elevator that was lifting them up to the Synthetic Insights offices.

"Task after task after task. Everyone wants something from me, everyone!" Shepard yelled at no one in particular.

"You do know you could just use your Spectre status to bypass all security protocols, get any pass or security clearance or whatever for anything, right, Shepard?" Paul asked her.

"Yeah', but it wouldn't look very good on my records if I simply scared the shit out everyone I met," she said, and murmured something silently as an after-thought.

"I'm sorry, what was that, Commander?" Tali asked.

"Nothing, Tali." Shepard answered a little too quickly.

"Didn't sound like nothing. Almost sounded like your mom would kill you, if you weren't nice to people," Paul said with a grin.

"Shut up." Shepard said sharply.

Before anyone could say anything more, the elevator doors opened, and the team was greeted by gun barrels.

Paul stepped forward.

"Hello. Does Captain Matsuo know you're here?" he asked with a knowing voice.

The guards looked at each-other, and then one of them said: "You didn't see us, we didn't see you," before walking into the elevator.

* * *

"It's kind of funny," Shepard said while going through a datapad.

Only Wrex wasn't occupied with anything but guarding the entrance and grunted questioningly.

"We, I mean Paul kicks the corrupt ERCS guards out who were ransacking this place for the evidence, and now we're the ones ransacking the place for the evidence."

Paul, who was going through the turian's, Lorik Qui'in's computer, said, "Well, we're doing it for a good cause." Then he started snickering.

"What are you laughing about now?" Tali asked.

"Who in their right mind would hide 50 gigabytes of porn in a folder named "Family Pictures"?"

Shepard, who was now smiling, answered, "I guess that's how he mixed up the human saying with "Fly in the lotion"."

"Yeah, I was wondering about that. Got creepy images for the next ten minutes after he said that," Paul said.

"Paul, instead of staring at someone else's porn collection, maybe you should find that evidence," Tali suggested.

"If you see any krogan-on-asari action, download it onto your omni-tool. I like those shows," Wrex spoke up with a grin.

Paul was about to retort, when suddenly Wrex's expression went from amused to serious faster than a lightning strike.

"We got company. Just came out of the elevator. Looks like that blondie from the Normandy's dock is here, too."

Shepard frantically looked at Paul and Tali. "Please tell me you got something."

Tali looked calmly at Shepard, and said, "Don't worry, I just started the download of the evidence 10 seconds ago. Most of the time is going to wiping it from Lorik's systems." She looked at her omni-tool, and closed it. "Done."

Shepard nodded, and pulled out her Assault Rifle. "Alright, let's roll."

Paul whispered something in Shepard's ear, and she nodded. Then she motioned for Tali and Wrex to go with her. As they descended the stairs, Paul was looking at the new arrivals.

Shepard stopped in front of them, and the blonde lady spoke up. "What do we have here? Commander Shepard."

Shepard bowed slightly. "You have me at a disadvantage, miss?"

"_Now_ you show the proper respect? Sergeant Kaira Stirling. What are you doing here, ransacking the offices?" She asked with anger she didn't even bother to hide.

"What?" Shepard asked incredulously. "Your own ERCS thugs were paid off by Anoleis to shake this place down! Don't throw the blame at me!"

Kaira only snorted. "So where's your smart-mouth guy? You know, the skinny black-haired bastard?"

"He's enjoying his drinks at the bar," Shepard answered.

"We'll have him soon enough for being an accomplice. Do you know what we did to cop-killers on my world?"

Wrex already knew where this was going, and threw a warp at Kaira's face.

At the same time, Paul jumped down from the upper floor right on top of Kaira, only to take the warp straight in his face.

The raging blonde woman couldn't get up fast enough to avoid getting her face re-arranged by shotgun rounds, and her friends were killed in less than three seconds.

After the shortest battle on Noveria, they looked at Paul, whose brain was now slowly being torn apart by Wrex's Warp.

Wrex nudged him with his foot.

"Shepard."

"Wrex, don't even start! You just killed our own squad member! Sure, he came out of nowhere, but _still_! You have a _lot_ to answer for!"

"…I'm just wondering if he downloaded that porn."

* * *

**Sweet Baby Jesus, this one took long. only 1400 something words, and 'only' two weeks... Have I ever said how much I hate my literature teacher right now? We're being forced to read book after book after book after book. "Estonian classics" they said. It will be a fun read, they said! It's not like, you know, half of them are exactly like the fucking soap operas on TV. The only thing missing was the occasional long-lost brother/sister showing up from nowhere!**

**That said, I won't abandon this story out of the blue. If I can't continue it, I promise I will post a notice instead of just leaving you people to hang off a cliff waiting for the new chapter.**

**And as always, I will see you in the next Chapter!**

**PS. I really am sorry for the long wait.**


	17. Chapter 17

**Fear Of Bugs**

* * *

John woke up with a sudden jolt. He soon realized he was lying face down on a smooth, cold surface.

Then he heard a quiet, surprised voice with a heavy Russian accent. "Huh. I must be getting delirious. How did you get down here?"

John opened his eyes and turned to lie on his back to get a better view of the place. It was a rather small room with paneled floor, ceiling and walls. The walls had wide windows. Through the windows John could see a large cavern with metal pillars supporting the ceiling.

He turned his head to see a man sitting on a chair, who was staring at him with a tired expression, looking too exhausted to have any stronger emotions at the moment.

"What do you mean, you're delirious? I'm right here," John told him, waving his arm lightly.

"Maybe you are real after all then. All I know is that the Hot Labs are sealed, and I woke up to a bang and a bright flash of light. Then I noticed you on the floor."

"Wait, Hot Labs?" John suddenly asked with increasing concern. He quickly sat up. "That sounds awfully familiar. Now that you said it, this entire place looks suspiciously familiar."

"So you have been in Peak 15 before, have you?" the man asked, suddenly becoming a bit livelier.

"Oh, you could say that," John answered vaguely. "Say, why are you down here alone like this? And why are the Hot Labs locked down? As much as I know, something really bad has to happen for this place to get locked down," he asked.

The Russian slouched against the chair, having lost all his enthusiasm after the sudden questions. "The Hot Labs are locked down because of loose bio-contaminants. Namely, the rachni are loose and are wreaking havoc. I am down here, because I was the only fool who got left behind. Before I knew it, the bugs were loose, and the elevator was locked." He sighed sadly. "My mother always said I would meet a bad end," he added as an after-thought.

"Isn't there a way to purge the threat? If I remember correctly, this place should have some sort of failsafe or contingency in case a research object goes out of control," John said.

"Well, there is a neutron purge, though you need an access code to activate it. Lucky for you, I have one on me," the man said, standing up carefully. He then stumbled over to John, and gave him the access codes needed to start the purge. "Remember, that thing has a time limit. The elevator is locked right now, but the facility's VI will unlock it for anyone with this code."

John nodded. "Stay here, and rest. I'll take care of this."

The Russian nodded, and went back to his chair. John walked to a door, opened it, and stepped into the control room. John went over to a terminal, and looked for a button to activate it. Suddenly, the VI hologram sprung to life.

"Welcome. It appears that you are trying to activate the controls. If you are incapable of manual control, then you can use verbal commands directed to me." The VI seemed damaged. Its hologram representation was spinning around, and occasionally flickered to suddenly appear two meters up in the air, before coming back to its original position.

"VI. I want to activate the neutron purge."

"Warning. Neutron purge will eradicate all organics inside the Hot Labs. Neutron purge- A moment please."

John subconsciously stepped back from the terminal when the VI cut its own sentence off for some reason. Then he decided to finish the sentence himself.

"Yes, neutron purge needs an access code. It's right here." He then presents the access codes to the VI.

"Access code is correct. Ini- A moment please," it said.

"I apologise for the inconvenience. A momentary error happened within the system. Please present the access codes."

John showed them again.

"Access code- A moment please." John was slightly frustrated now.

"I apologise for the inconvenience. A momentary error happened within the system. Please present the access codes." Then the VI hologram suddenly spins at high speeds for a few seconds.

John started frowning at that point. He figured that the VI must be more damaged than he remembered from the games. He presents the access codes once more.

"Access code is correct. Initiating neutron purge. Time until neutron pur- A moment please," it said again

"I apologise for the inconvenience. A momentary error happened within the system. Neutron purge activated. Warning. Error occurred within the computer systems. Activating emergency protocols. Time until neutron purge: 30 seconds."

John's eyes widened at that. He stood there, staring at the VI for a full 5 seconds, when it suddenly adds: "Warning. Ventilation clogging detected. Opening all ventilation tunnels in the Hot Labs."

He suddenly heard scratching from behind the panels, and quiet screeches.

"Warning. Time until neutron purge: 15 seconds."

John makes a run for it. Completely panicking, he makes a bee-line for the elevator, barely even noticing the rachni popping in through the vents.

He was about to warn the Russian still sitting in his chair, only to see the man get pulled into a vent by a tentacle.

He ran into the elevator, and slammed the button with his shoulder. The doors closed, and the elevator jolted, and started moving upwards. John slowly slid down the elevator wall, sighing in relief.

Then the doors opened, and he saw a bunch of people staring at him with wide eyes.

He immediately recognised Commander Shepard, Kaidan Alenko and Liara T'Soni. Then he saw the Peak 15's guard captain, Ventralis, and his men.

John immediately rose his finger, pointed it at them, and yelled: "Shepard, Benezia's lackeys, 12-o'-fucking-clock!"

Ventralis was too hyped up on adrenaline boosters and caffeine to play it off as the ramblings of some unknown madman, and suddenly pulled out his weapon. "Open fire!" he got to yell, before Shepard's team killed them all in less than 3 seconds.

John walked out of the elevator, only to be stopped by Shepard. "Who are you, how did you know these clowns were Benezia's guys, and how do you know my name?"

John smiled at the myriad of questions, and decided to answer them in order. "My name is John, and I just purged all the rachni in the Hot Labs. I have been here for a while, and I know who Benezia gives orders to, and who doesn't know your name? You're the first human Spectre, after all!"

Then Liara spoke up. "Shepard, if what he's saying is true, then we could use him. He might even know where my mother is right now." She then looked at John with a hopeful expression.

He looked at Shepard for a moment more, and then turned to Liara.

"Benezia is just up ahead, in the chamber where they hold the rachni queen. But be careful-" Kaidan cut him off suddenly, waving his arms madly. "Wait, did you just say there's a _rachni queen_ in here?"

John looked at him, bemused, and answered. "Yes. That's exactly what I said. Now, Benezia is over there, but has an entire commando unit and a bunch of geth with her. It won't be easy for you to fight her."

Shepard nodded, and was about to motion for her team to move forward, when John stopped her. "And that's why I want to join you. You'll need all the help you can get over there."

She looked at him for a few seconds, and nodded. John nodded back gratefully, and picked up an assault rifle one of Ventralis' men had dropped.

* * *

They had been following John for five minutes, when he stopped at a door. "This is it. Benezia should be right here. You ready for this?"

Shepard cocks her gun in the universal "hell yes" motion. Kaidan nods, and Liara simply grips her pistol more tightly.

John opens the door, and they step through. Immediately, an obviously aged asari steps on a heightened platform to greet them.

"Commander Shepard. You have been a thorn in Saren's side long enough. This ends here." Then the asari notices Liara standing behind Shepard, and scowls. "If you hope to invoke sympathy in me by bringing my daughter into this confrontation, then you are sadly very wrong." She turned to her daughter almost disdainfully. "Tell me, what have you told your Commander about me?"

Liara stepped forward, and immediately started yelling at Benezia. "What could I have told her? Recite the best ways to kill an asari matriarch?!"

Suddenly John stepped in front of Liara, seeking to end this confrontation between mother and daughter. "Lady Benezia. Before anyone does anything, I'd like to know something."

The matriarch turned her head towards him, and motioned him to proceed.

Then John started laughing. "Just what in the name of all the Gods are you _wearing_ on your _head_?!"

Liara looked at him, absolutely shocked. Benezia only huffed at him, and with a motion of her hand, threw him off the catwalk.

The last thing John saw was the ground coming up to him to meet his face.

Then Benezia looked at Shepard, and asked: "Have you ever faced an asari commando unit before? Few humans have."

Shepard only rubbed the back of her head awkwardly.

"This could have gone better."

* * *

**Hell Yes! Another Chapter! Good news for everyone reading this, too! The literature teacher has finally laid off, and hopefully I can get back on track with my own story soon!**

**I will see you in the next Chapter!**


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